The Off Day

The Off Day.

The Off Day is the day that you think is Thursday, but it's not. It's Friday.

The Off Day is the day that someone is coming to see your house, this is a someone that is coming for the second time actually and is bringing his wife, and you can't be here because you have a doctor's appointment because you have had a congested chest for way too long and have been fighting going to get the antibiotic that you know you need, and so you ask the realtor to come and he says 'what would I do that would be any different than what you would do?" and you think, "huh?" and then say some things that amount to you saying 'forget it then’, but he backs up because he missed the part about you being sick and having to go to the doctor, as you see he has no people skills, and doesn't realize when people mention they are going to the doctor that sometimes they might be sick and be having an Off Day.

On the Off Day you need to run errands same as a Normal Day, so you do, and then you run by Barnes and Nobles to pick up the book on Vermeer, and check out a sale for something for Madam Blueberry, who has a graduation dinner to attend for friends, but has nothing to wear because she hates to shop and you don't blame her because it's buggers out there, so you run in, grab a few things, and then realize it's time to go! ~ So you rush out of the store and look frantically for your car keys, frantically, did you leave them in the book store, frantically! Oh my gosh you have dementia! Frantically, you realize they are in your left hand. The whole time. Like I said, an Off Day. You can't stop staring at the keys. How did they get there? Oh no, well, God sees all, and one day he will tell me what happened here.

The Off Day is the day it's mentioned that the Open House is tomorrow from 1 to 6 and you say, "you mean Saturday" and the realtor says, "yes, tomorrow. Today is Friday." And you think, oh great but say nothing as you just sigh, and he says, "yes, we are all tired." And you think things that people _think only_, but never say out loud on the Off Day.

On the Off Day you come home late because even though the appointment with the doctor is for 3 PM, and you were there by 2:50 PM, you don't get to see the doctor until 4 PM, and then she asks you which antibiotic you want to choose, and you have to go and get the prescription, that you waited to long for, filled, and you get home and think, "okay, maybe pizza for dinner," but someone calls and they want to see your house at 6 PM, and oh, what time is it now? 5:35? Sure, you say, I mean, it's an Off Day, you know, might as well go for broke.

Good news on the Off Day is that both people who came like your house. And they say that tomorrow they are both coming back to attend the Open House. One family is bringing back his children to look especially at Madam Blueberry’s room, which should host a television show all by itself, as it is so original. The other family because the wife wants to look at lots of homes before she decides, but the husband decided, he says he likes my house! And I hope he wins at the right price.

On The Off Day I’ll go to bed without my shower because I forgot that the Hot Water heater was turned off to save money and so, oh well, what is better on an Off Day than to save a dollar?