Pain is love turned inside out

I can't see
there is a mist forming on the horizon
it's like a fog
a haze over my eyes
that will spill over with some thought

I can't see the doors
but I know I've walked through them
I've pushed them
I've kicked them
I've slammed them shut tight

this feeling is familiar
I've been this very place before
but I was on the other side
of this

this pain...
I know this pain...

I've caused it
I didn't mean to
but don't we do that
growing up?

we push out the pain we have
through a door
and slam it into someone else

but it comes back
later
maybe years later

when you think you're done
because
you've wised up
you've made your mistakes
you've learned
and
you're kinder now

you love more
you laugh more
you forgive always

and more importantly,

you're sorry

then it happens
that pain cycles back around

to you

and you wear it now
differently
you keep it
quietly

because you know
you know
you know,
you
know

you do not want to put it out there
anymore
because
you know
it will come back
and someone else will be slammed with it

will wear it.

the eyes of someone else will mist over...

so let mine be the last.

It's okay now
I can keep it now
I can be the place
where pain goes to die

I don't have to feel it anymore

I can make it not real
I can know
Pain is just love turned inside out

~~Miss Roxie

Occupy the Postive Vibe

Start the snowball rolling.
If anything can go right, it will.

Doesn't matter direction
up or down a hill
around a bend
crick in the road
I will stay in the fold
of the motto

Occupy the Positive Vibe

I support the movement.

In my space

In my space I try not to despair
I do the necessary things
That is Helpful
No one trips
Things smell nice
You can find things
Next stop
Out with stuff

Yesterday I bought something
For someone
I didn't think about how I didn't
really
have the money
I just did it
because
I wanted to
and it seemed
they needed a kindness
out of nowhere

Then out of nowhere
somebody paid for my dinner
and my husband's dinner
and
I got back more
than
I put out

Wow.

Sharing begins early

If I look ahead to far
I might fall down
from fright
from the actions of Big People
Selfish and Greedy Big People
in the
Big World

but I mustn't stare
at that
Because
there are children
on the horizon
Little Children

What will happen
if the Big People despair
And don't learn to share?

The world cannot grow up sad
It just cannot.

I'm sorry Big People
in the
Big World
You need to learn to share.

Isn't that
what you tell the
Little Children
on the horizon?

Stop this nonsense!
Share your toys!
Grow up!
Ooops,
Big People
You already are!

What is the matter with you?
You probably didn't listen when you were Three.

My space in the universe

I'm in a space
in the universe
the rent is due here

a place where
I can keep space
right now
from all the unknowns
certain things I can't think
to worry about.

It's now that I can think about.
this second,
not the one that passed
Now.
only know.
Think of being 3.

God Knows
I don't
I can only hope
and pray for those of us
who don't have jobs
or ways to make
the pay days easier.

I baked in my space today
made scones
they turned out well.
I will take that as a good sign.

I may find I can write from my space.
I'll see
if that works for me.

Good night.

Let it go.

Don't despair

people worry too much

about what will happen

and what other people think.

Who - programmed - you to too worry

about

What other people think?

You don't seriously think you were born
with that being an important thought?

So don't worry.

What's the point?

What is one thing that it gains for you?

So another said something that you didn't like?

So what?

"Who are you," said the caterpillar to Alice...

Why should another person's thoughts affect what we believe?

What is the point of that?

Where does it say you are so special?

That they are so special?

Why can't you just live where you are

be who you (think) you are

and let others be who they think they are?

Peace

Love

Patience

Kindness

Forgiveness

PLPK -F-why not?

Let it go.

Vulnerable 2

So,
if you didn't know before,
now you know for sure.
I am human. I am flawed.
I can buckle under stress
to my knees and feel pain.
I can disappoint.
I can over react.
I can fall, trip, stumble...

But,
I can also stand back up again.
I can put support under that beam.
I can be better than I was the last time,
for longer
because
I can learn.

There is not
one mistake
that I cannot learn from
because
we make
some of our
greatest
advances
after
an error --

I can be better.
I can learn.
Even though I am no superman,
I am willing
and
it is necessary
to go on...

I am,
at times,
vulnerable...

but
I will
survive.

View from a distance

I watched you walk out the door
your eyes meet mine
and
my heart broke
in twelve different places...

the door closed
and
I felt the cold night air
swirling around
the cracked spaces
in between the layers
where love used to
flow freely without question
of its release...

time and time again
each time our eyes did meet
the love there was easy
not confused
or ransomed
or held in check
and it knew
in which direction
to go...

it was forward
up and out
straight and sure
and steady
and honest
as a day and a night...

and
now
I fear
you don't love me
you resent me
you don't need me...

you need to fly on your own
little bird...

you need to fly high
away from me

so you can get a better view

of all that you can't see now

from where you stand...

~~Miss Roxie

Aging

Aging
Aging is not for the faint at heart
it's getting over being
embarrassed when you fart
Too much makeup
and you look like a tart
and lose the cleavage
if you should need to
Aging
Aging is for the brave
and the bold
You really don't have to do
what you are told
Just do what is right
and not because you are old
but because you want to
Aging
If you want to still drive your car
It's important to be able to remember
always
where you are
Go out everyday
just maybe not to far
Explore
It's invigorating
Aging
It's important to know
If you can see and
And be honest if you can't
do things that you used to be
able to do
when you were not
as you are now
which is
Aging
Go ahead
Light up a room
with your smile
Tell a young person
you like their style
Keep things around
that make you happy
Laugh at people who say,
"Make it snappy"
Think of those things
you wanted to do
and maybe
do them
a time or two
Aging
it's not over
it's just
Aging

~written by Miss Roxie
A Semi-professional Ager*
*Footing more there than here

Today my daughter is 20

I have always labored over birthday cards, always feeling that I could do better than the words written in them and just despising the cost these days, but, I found this card, and I would compliment the writer from Hallmark --

How to Make a Beautiful Life

Reflections for a Daughter on her Birthday

Love yourself.
make peace with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.

Listen to your heart.
If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, MAKE TIME for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try.
Take chances. MAKE MISTAKES. Life can be messy at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.

Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
MAKE DO. That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to toromrrow. You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY. To know where you're going is only part of it.
You need to know where you've been, too.

And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it.

Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you.'

MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE...
The kind of life you deserve.

A new day in the early part of the week

New Days are Everywhere

It's today
and it's new
but it's Tuesday again
Where was I?
In the middle of laundry,
paying bills, making a shopping list?
Or am I starting over?
Starting over on my list of things to do,
or picking up where I was?
It's the beginning of a new day,
or is it the early part of a week?
I had a good night's sleep.
I feel good this morning.
I have lovely things to think about
even though I feel sad about some things
I have some happy things to think about, too.
What is today?
It's Tuesday
the early part of the week.
It's a new day
for me ....

~Miss Roxie

Blessings to you at Christmas

With the help of Charlie Brown, with whom I grew up --

May you always find,

All the warmest feelings of love and kindness both given and received,
Satisfaction of wealth in many ways ~ love and even money or whatever else it is you need,
That you will be kept free from harm, and if something unforeseen should cause you to fall or stumble, may you feel the love from around the world reach out to catch you and steady your step.

May you always find,

Blessings of Peace and Love for your Doorsteps
A Drop of your Favorite Yuletide Speciality in Your Cup
And a Warmth in Your Heart that never ever leaves,
I wish for you, this day and always ~

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Merry Christmas!

Hanging in there

Keeping on the keeping on
of the keeping on
of the hanging in there
for representation of the what else are you going to do
as you can't lay down and die
as you know you must live to the fullest or you lie
lie
lie to yourself about all the stories you have ever told yourself
about going on and not cheating yourself out of no more days.
No more days lived looking back
and into the past with a real serious idea that you know what's going on.
You thought you knew but you didn't.
You thought you were winning
but turns out you didn't even know the score
or what the game was that was being played
and you were skating on thin ice
and then came the day it caved in
and you started to freeze
your emotions jumped into hold,
waiting for the sunlight to take hold,
and so you actually saved yourself without even knowing it.
And you didn't even step on the rusty nail.
So all that time, all those days,
no matter what the ice man had said,
it could have been worse.
Keep hanging in there.
What else are you going to do?

(An obscure poem written in an obscure moment
my Miss Roxie)

When I grow up

When I grow up, if I live in this world,
I want to be detached by my poetry.
My poetry will make the walls I need,
and if someone is looking for me,
they can read a poem I have written and find me.
And if it's not me they are looking for,
perhaps they can find themselves
or their friends or loved ones there,
when I grow up.

When I grow up,
I don't want too much stuff.
That's too much dust and space taken up,
by material things,
I want living things around me
When I grow up.

Talking isn't for Everyone

I can’t be inside someone else’s mind.

I have graduated from trying to figure people out
Why they say things that they don’t know anything about
The why
They pass their opinion along.

As if,
As if they knew you
As if they knew something about you
Or yours

When they don’t.

They’ve looked on
And formulated, at best,
An opinion.

An opinion that they should,
By rights inalienable
Keep quietly to themselves

But no…
Alas, no…

The world being partially possessed by shallow minds
Staggers along with people’s biased
Opinions.

Spoken out loud
And spoken, if I may boldly add,
Wrongly.

But alas, again,
Alas,
They don’t mind that.

Their only need is to fuel their own side of the argument
To bad
So sad
Their opinion spreads
Along with hurt

The words were spoken
The hearts were broken
And all for,
All for,
The notice of their
So, they think,
Their
Most important
Opinion.

~~Miss Roxie

Don't keep this secret

Don’t keep this secret

~~Miss Roxie

Walk undaunted
Walk through with no distraction
Of those things that
Would rob you of your joy
Keep focused
On love
On kindness
On your children
Your family
Your friends
Keep focused
On the simple things
The simple gestures
The smiles
The hugs
The pats on the back
People cry out for human touch
without speaking
Hear yourself say
“I love you”
Give away your happiness
If you have too much it might choke you
And you will die a lonely death
Give it away
And it roots strongly
And then returns
A never-ending vine
That produces the fruit of survival

Don't keep this secret

Don’t keep this secret

~~Miss Roxie

Walk undaunted
Walk through with no distraction
Of those things that
Would rob you of your joy
Keep focused
On love
On kindness
On your children
Your family
Your friends
Keep focused
On the simple things
The simple gestures
The smiles
The hugs
The pats on the back
People cry out for human touch
without speaking
Hear yourself say
“I love you”
Give away your happiness
If you have too much it might choke you
And you will die a lonely death
Give it away
And it roots strongly
And then returns
A never-ending vine
That produces the fruit of survival

Restful Thinking

I have always written. Just as a means of survival. I have never been diligent about saving my stuff. But it shows up here and there.

My mom was going through some old pictures and found one of my old poems from 1980. I was a widow then. My oldest son was just about four. I felt like I was handling a lot, yet handling nothing.

It’s funny now, how reading this poem brings back the memory of each and everything I mentioned in it ~ this was a real day in my life ~

Restful Thinking
~~Miss Roxie

When you see a mommy resting,
Leave her be.
Because she deserves a break today,
You see ...

She fixed your breakfast
Washed four loads

Mowed the lawn

And folded clothes

Cleaned the bathroom

Darned two socks

Untangled all your shoelace knots

Sewed up Ernie

Washed the dog

Saved you from ‘the great big frog’

Fixed your lunch

Wiped up your drink

Washed all the dishes in the sink…

And now, as the clock rounds one,

She wonders about what’s left undone,

But ‘tis of little matter now,

Because as the angels watch and smile,

Mommy needs to rest awhile.

Note to self

por1. Make a list of all you have to do.

2. Do not loose the list.

3. Do not loose the pencil.

4. Do not forget what you are supposed to write down.

5. Find Paper.

6. Find Pencil.

7. Or pen.

8. Gather thoughts.

9. On second thought re: #8 --
Better to let mind run random and remember things at will. Better to have more on the list than less.

10. Good Luck.

11. Do not loose the list.

Little is not little for long

Little things become the big things

Don't they?

A small hug for a child everyday
becomes the big love they carry away

A small kindness done for a friend
that you repeat
over and over again and again,
becomes a security and trust
that will not bend

A small little kiss or a peck on the cheek
given everyday or even each week
turns into a heart that is happy and proud
and lives in the pleasure of smiling out loud

Each little thing that you do each day
no matter how small you may think it to be
becomes later the biggest thing it can be

When it is the biggest
that it ever will be,
will you be happy
to see what you see?

Will you be happy
to know what you've made
by your little gestures
of each passing day?


~Miss Roxie