Packin' some Flares ...

1. I am a victim of bad lighting.

2. I learned today that you need ID to buy crazy glue. (But the girl didn't ask me for mine. Must have been bad lighting.)

3. Arthritis. I do not recognize my hands. My knuckles are swollen and my fingers are crooked and since I broke my pinky finger, it really freaks me out. Everyday, it's like "whoa! Whose hands are these!" Then, "Oh yeah, arthritis" (and I try not to think about bad lighting.)

4. I can't do store math. I can't convert Toilet Paper square feet to squares in a roll from rolls in the package to double rolls, which I know don't roll in my bathroom very well.

I can't convert 20 oz at *x* to 14 oz at *y*.

5. And why can't they just tell me the price of each one instead of 8 for $4.68. I don't even want 8.

6. Who is the person who puts all the food back in the wrong places? I would like that person banned from the store or made to complete some kind of test.

I mean wrong price place is one thing, but why put the grapes in the cereals? Does anyone have grapes in their cereal? I mean, actually grapes, not nuts or anything. And lettuce in the book section?

I mean, who are these people? I want to write them a memo:

Dear Scatter Brain,

Make a decision and stick to it. It won't hurt you, I promise. Eat the lettuce and the grapes. You will probably feel better, and your brain won't be so ADD.

Sincerely,

U. Uh Noyedme

7. A good friend of mine sent me a CD for my granddaughter. This song is on it (you need to go to 2:11 before he actually starts the song) called Because It's There. It's Ellis Paul. He explains it's his antidote to Barney. I don't know if he means this song, or the whole CD. But, it gave me such a laugh. And, I needed that. (Thank you, SuZie)