Kitchen Confessions

1. My oven is full of salt. There was a fire in my oven. A big fire. I stared at it for a little while and then said some Mark Twain words under my breath. Thought I might be in a wee bit-a trouble there, and salt was the only thing I could think of. I had no baking soda. And I did baking soda once and it's a bigger mess than salt. Salt works. And, I'm here to testify, salt does not change after you turn on that self-cleaning unit. Salt is still there waiting for you.

2. I opened the burritos on the wrong side. I never notice that one side is correct or incorrect. I am not of the generation that recognizes these types of rules.

3. I cut through all the plastic things that say "tear here" with a knife. If I tear them, they do weird things that defy scientific terms of explanation of all things plastic. I detest them actually. I'm not sure what would make me happy. I think if someone just served me a burrito, that might make me happy.

4. I forget to run my dishwasher.

5. I spill things in that teeny weeny tiny little space between my oven and the counter top, gosh, I am still seething at the person who invented such a thing as that space. It's like you might as well put up a sign that says, "Welcome all bugs of any species. Come dine in the crawl spaces of my oven walls."

6. I never clean my refrigerator often enough. That is one of the problems of refrigeration. It keeps bad stuff as well as good stuff at a reasonable temperature. But soon, there will be no mistaking that you need to throw*X* out. However, sorry to the one who tried to eat something that was nearing it's time of being *X*, but not quite reaching *X* point, still looks like a *V* maybe ...Nahhh, stay away from *V*, too. I think too much refrigeration is responsible for global warming.

7. These are not necessarily in the correct order of importance, but I store things in whatever I find handy to put a left over in. I've put whole pots in the 'fridge. I know all about the to quick cooling of pots ruining the pots (how do you think I found out?), but that does not stop me. When I am in a hurry to get out of the kitchen, let's say it's almost time for Ugly Betty -- anything could happen.

8. That's all I can handle posting right now. The tea kettle is whistling away and that means that steam is going all over everything and there won't be any water in the kettle when I get there ...and, oh yeah, burnt pot bottoms, hmmmm, that's another thing....