I can't seem to follow reading through any other blogs right now. Everything seems so unimportant. A death in a family just shifts your vision and hearing to a degree that is new.
Even my fingers touching the keyboard, feels different than before.
I'm thinking it's processing time. Being with someone who passes is an experience that involves things that are so beyond our reach and yet, they touch us. After the experience, it takes time to sort the way.
I'll stay close to my family and accept their love. In a way, I hope I never lose this feeling. But I know it will go away and become something else. I can only hope I can become better for it. I want to wear it well.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A Quote for a Day
The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.
--- Harry S. Truman (1884-1972), 33rd President of the United States
--- Harry S. Truman (1884-1972), 33rd President of the United States
A new day in the early part of the week
New Days are Everywhere
It's today
and it's new
but it's Tuesday again
Where was I?
In the middle of laundry,
paying bills, making a shopping list?
Or am I starting over?
Starting over on my list of things to do,
or picking up where I was?
It's the beginning of a new day,
or is it the early part of a week?
I had a good night's sleep.
I feel good this morning.
I have lovely things to think about
even though I feel sad about some things
I have some happy things to think about, too.
What is today?
It's Tuesday
the early part of the week.
It's a new day
for me ....
~Miss Roxie
It's today
and it's new
but it's Tuesday again
Where was I?
In the middle of laundry,
paying bills, making a shopping list?
Or am I starting over?
Starting over on my list of things to do,
or picking up where I was?
It's the beginning of a new day,
or is it the early part of a week?
I had a good night's sleep.
I feel good this morning.
I have lovely things to think about
even though I feel sad about some things
I have some happy things to think about, too.
What is today?
It's Tuesday
the early part of the week.
It's a new day
for me ....
~Miss Roxie
Monday, January 26, 2009
We thank you, Grandpa
Great Grandpa Steve, Shaylin, and Great Grandma Rita
Christmas 2008
Heaven holds one more.
Michael Stephen left this earth to join our Heavenly Father last Saturday. the 17th of January, 2009 in the year of our Lord,
He was only 92 years old. We were all with him when he passed away. Although we know he is in that better place, we miss him.
Rest in peace, Grandpa ~
Father
Husband
Brother
Uncle
Friend and Good Neighbor.
As heaven holds you now grandpa, we also hold you. In our hearts, we forever hold all those familiar feelings you passed on to us; feelings of care and compassion, loyalty and faith, helping your neighbor, but most of all love. All the love we saw and felt from you, all those great days you were with us, grandpa, we will hold forever in our hearts. We thank you grandpa, we thank you.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Beginning ~
"And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot
Would you have heard the music?
The following is an email I received:
A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold December morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that a thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
Google: Joshua Bell subway...for detailed account. You can also find this on snopes.com :-)
Joshua Bell
A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold December morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that a thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
Google: Joshua Bell subway...for detailed account. You can also find this on snopes.com :-)
Joshua Bell
Monday, January 12, 2009
Standing in the queue
Life. It's that thing that keeps going and going. Like the Energizer bunny, or not, depends on you.
Life. Is a head trip. It's all in your head. Last week, for example, were things so different for me? Not really. But I was depressed. I felt poor, and fat, and sick, and lonely, tired and ugly, and old.
The same people were there for me, but my head space had other things going on. My judgements were clouded by the feeling of being needy. But still, I needed a rest. I needed more water to drink. My body needed above what my brain needed and there was a war going on, until finally, this weekend, I rested. I gardened. I did do laundry, and I did cook, and washed the floors ~ and oh well, just did general stuff but rested in between. Oh go figure...
it sounds like a regular schedule, doesn't it? So what's the deal?
Different state of mind?
Dunno ~ but my granddaughter is still just so wonderful.
Oh a baby, a baby ~
to rock
to adore the new life
to gaze at in awe,
to touch and admire the softness,
as she wiggles and squirms
and makes her little sounds,
and big sounds, too ~
Oh a baby,
it's heavenly,
it's magically transporting,
it's from the land
of the miracle
of things out there special,
things still untouched
like new flowers opening,
A baby
The New Daddy,
The New Mama,
The Baby
Breath in the wonder of it all...
Life. Is a head trip. It's all in your head. Last week, for example, were things so different for me? Not really. But I was depressed. I felt poor, and fat, and sick, and lonely, tired and ugly, and old.
The same people were there for me, but my head space had other things going on. My judgements were clouded by the feeling of being needy. But still, I needed a rest. I needed more water to drink. My body needed above what my brain needed and there was a war going on, until finally, this weekend, I rested. I gardened. I did do laundry, and I did cook, and washed the floors ~ and oh well, just did general stuff but rested in between. Oh go figure...
it sounds like a regular schedule, doesn't it? So what's the deal?
Different state of mind?
Dunno ~ but my granddaughter is still just so wonderful.
Oh a baby, a baby ~
to rock
to adore the new life
to gaze at in awe,
to touch and admire the softness,
as she wiggles and squirms
and makes her little sounds,
and big sounds, too ~
Oh a baby,
it's heavenly,
it's magically transporting,
it's from the land
of the miracle
of things out there special,
things still untouched
like new flowers opening,
A baby
The New Daddy,
The New Mama,
The Baby
Breath in the wonder of it all...
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Day 2000 of the cold...
...Okay, it's not 2000, it just feels like 2000.
The physician's assistant called and suggested that I don't take the antibiotics; she suggested I wait this out for a few days, taking Mucinex and drinking plenty of water (after running through my diet and making sure I was eating right), that I walk 2 miles a day, (oh yeah right, I really feel like doing that), and get plenty of sleep.
But oh well, I'll do it and see what happens. Today, it seems like I have (again) a regular cold. Boring. Ugly. Getting old - both the cold and me.
I slept in later last night, didn't walk the two miles, don't have the money for the Mucinex (but should by tomorrow), did increase my water, and held my granddaughter for an hour so increasing my serotonin level.
Feeling: Not great, tired, head coldee
The physician's assistant called and suggested that I don't take the antibiotics; she suggested I wait this out for a few days, taking Mucinex and drinking plenty of water (after running through my diet and making sure I was eating right), that I walk 2 miles a day, (oh yeah right, I really feel like doing that), and get plenty of sleep.
But oh well, I'll do it and see what happens. Today, it seems like I have (again) a regular cold. Boring. Ugly. Getting old - both the cold and me.
I slept in later last night, didn't walk the two miles, don't have the money for the Mucinex (but should by tomorrow), did increase my water, and held my granddaughter for an hour so increasing my serotonin level.
Feeling: Not great, tired, head coldee
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Ear ache, ow, ow, ow...
Ear Aches are the worst! I feel like someone is stabbing me in the ear with a pencil! One more round of antibiotics ~ I hope they work this time. I can hardly think!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Oh drat....Doctors again
I have this reoccurring throat/ear infection. I hate when things reoccur. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow morning (again).
I think sometimes about dying, and sometimes I think, "Okay, Lord, this would be a good time..." and then sometimes I think, "okay, Lord, this would not be a good time." And this time of the now, Not a Good Time. As in, my little granddaughter is right next door, and oh my, I can hardly catch my breath when I hold her! It is just the most beautiful thing ...
Don't mean to sound dramatic, but my mind works like this. I have this line of communication with God, even though there are many who feel that has nothing to do with nothing, I feel like it has everything to do with everything. But in the end, I have no idea what God will actually decide.
I bought my granddaughter a sign language book. I thought it would be fun to give it a go! She's very active now for 17 days old. Oh well, there I go ~ I've already decided where we will be putting her art easel, which I already have, as there is a corner place on the porch with nice lighting ...ah, but I digress.
My appointment's in the morning, I'll take my Sign language book to study in the waiting room, and maybe repaint the easel next week. (Yay)
"Before God, we are all equally wise and equally foolish," ~ Albert Einstein
I think sometimes about dying, and sometimes I think, "Okay, Lord, this would be a good time..." and then sometimes I think, "okay, Lord, this would not be a good time." And this time of the now, Not a Good Time. As in, my little granddaughter is right next door, and oh my, I can hardly catch my breath when I hold her! It is just the most beautiful thing ...
Don't mean to sound dramatic, but my mind works like this. I have this line of communication with God, even though there are many who feel that has nothing to do with nothing, I feel like it has everything to do with everything. But in the end, I have no idea what God will actually decide.
I bought my granddaughter a sign language book. I thought it would be fun to give it a go! She's very active now for 17 days old. Oh well, there I go ~ I've already decided where we will be putting her art easel, which I already have, as there is a corner place on the porch with nice lighting ...ah, but I digress.
My appointment's in the morning, I'll take my Sign language book to study in the waiting room, and maybe repaint the easel next week. (Yay)
"Before God, we are all equally wise and equally foolish," ~ Albert Einstein
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Begin to Be Better
"To take the first step in faith, you don't have to see the whole
staircase: just take the first step." ~ Rev Martin Luther King
Some of us are spirited away by the thought of a New Year and a new chance to start over fresh and look at this time as the only opportunity to fly. There are those of us who really know that every day is a fresh and new start - but, whatever it takes to get a person to do for the better - Just Do IT!
staircase: just take the first step." ~ Rev Martin Luther King
Some of us are spirited away by the thought of a New Year and a new chance to start over fresh and look at this time as the only opportunity to fly. There are those of us who really know that every day is a fresh and new start - but, whatever it takes to get a person to do for the better - Just Do IT!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Ending the Year with a Darling
The above is my granddaughter a few hours old.
This is Shaylin, at home, 4 days old.
I've been told the experience of GrandMother is like no other. So far, it's wonderful. I have the good fortune of watching two loving parents working together to nuture and care for their darling first daughter.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Blessings to you at Christmas
With the help of Charlie Brown, with whom I grew up --
May you always find,
All the warmest feelings of love and kindness both given and received,
Satisfaction of wealth in many ways ~ love and even money or whatever else it is you need,
That you will be kept free from harm, and if something unforeseen should cause you to fall or stumble, may you feel the love from around the world reach out to catch you and steady your step.
May you always find,
Blessings of Peace and Love for your Doorsteps
A Drop of your Favorite Yuletide Speciality in Your Cup
And a Warmth in Your Heart that never ever leaves,
I wish for you, this day and always ~
">
Merry Christmas!
May you always find,
All the warmest feelings of love and kindness both given and received,
Satisfaction of wealth in many ways ~ love and even money or whatever else it is you need,
That you will be kept free from harm, and if something unforeseen should cause you to fall or stumble, may you feel the love from around the world reach out to catch you and steady your step.
May you always find,
Blessings of Peace and Love for your Doorsteps
A Drop of your Favorite Yuletide Speciality in Your Cup
And a Warmth in Your Heart that never ever leaves,
I wish for you, this day and always ~
">
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
You are Only Twelve Hours Old Once.....
I have been promoted. I accept this new responsibility with great pleasure. I am so happy right now. It is just a place to be that is so overwhelmed with love and joy. I am a reigning Grand Mother.
Just some updates -
Correction on my granddaughter's size -- Shaylin is 20 inches long, not 22, as first reported.
Her eyes are blue, but she was just 12 hours old when I commented on this.
She is so, so cute, not just cute!
She is already on Facebook! In a Video!! I will have to speak with these parents to find out _just what_ this might lead to.
I will say, I don't get, totally this younger generation and the techno connection, but look at me here blogging, bragging and all ...
Today, I had to make a decision. You see, I have a cold. What to do about seeing Shaylin? I asked my sister in laws, and we asked a nurse at the desk at the hospital, and they all concurred with my thoughts -- err on the side of caution. (Grrrr, I detest it when I am right,)
So, I didn't hold my grand-baby or get to really see her.
I had driven down to The Center, with Madam B who (happily) went in and was crinkling with excitement and had no plans of leaving, even though I was respecting my decision not to go in, her mama would have to just suffer the grandma-blues, as she, OTOH, had an Auntie-jones going on, and was meshed into it like how pizza melds together in a hot oven. Looks like pieces that don't match in the beginning, and after it melts, you just love it all together like that!
I waited there in the lovely lobby for a while, then became overcome with a need to communicate my feelings, so I sent a text message to my son, "I just gotta look at her" ...
A little bit later, I could see through the cracks of these large doors that have to be buzzed open, some movement that looked like my son's shirt going back and forth. After a little bit later again, my son came out and said, 'come with me, mama.'
He lead me around this corner to an area where glass windows are. The blinds are inside. They don't use the room there to much any more because all the babies are with their mothers in the rooms for the whole time after they are born. (How cool is that!).
The blind was pulled up, and there was The New Mama, Auntie Scarlett, and Shaylin Nicole! It was just a beautiful moment. The tears did fill and over flow, and I did the happy dance.
But, we weren't alone out there in the hall! It seems, to our right, a hall opened up for a ward for elderly people, and somehow, there being a baby there in that window, drew at least 15 or so, people over there! They came over in little packs like a signal was drawing them! It was freaky - funny, but freaky. All smiles and amazed at the child in the window.
They were all uuoohhhh-ing and awwwwww-ing, and Scarlett said --when Shaylin would make these really cute little faces,-- they would all make *the sound* in sync, and so from their side, it sounded like a choir!
I told my son, "well, I guess this is like her debut?" It was cute. Twelve Hours old, and there she was, capturing a crowd.
It put me in the mind of that expression about God's meanings and what He thought babies represented to us, His good opinion that the world should go on...
And seeing these strangers there in the hall, Ooohing and Awwwing over this sweet, little baby with us, no questions asked, that's exactly what I felt. God's Good Opinion has been passed on to us.
This baby is here now, and the world must go on, so we may as well be happy about it, or be pegged for fools! Even strangers in a hallway know to be overjoyed in unison at the site of a newborn baby. Sounds like a plan to me. A really good plan.
Just some updates -
Correction on my granddaughter's size -- Shaylin is 20 inches long, not 22, as first reported.
Her eyes are blue, but she was just 12 hours old when I commented on this.
She is so, so cute, not just cute!
She is already on Facebook! In a Video!! I will have to speak with these parents to find out _just what_ this might lead to.
I will say, I don't get, totally this younger generation and the techno connection, but look at me here blogging, bragging and all ...
Today, I had to make a decision. You see, I have a cold. What to do about seeing Shaylin? I asked my sister in laws, and we asked a nurse at the desk at the hospital, and they all concurred with my thoughts -- err on the side of caution. (Grrrr, I detest it when I am right,)
So, I didn't hold my grand-baby or get to really see her.
I had driven down to The Center, with Madam B who (happily) went in and was crinkling with excitement and had no plans of leaving, even though I was respecting my decision not to go in, her mama would have to just suffer the grandma-blues, as she, OTOH, had an Auntie-jones going on, and was meshed into it like how pizza melds together in a hot oven. Looks like pieces that don't match in the beginning, and after it melts, you just love it all together like that!
I waited there in the lovely lobby for a while, then became overcome with a need to communicate my feelings, so I sent a text message to my son, "I just gotta look at her" ...
A little bit later, I could see through the cracks of these large doors that have to be buzzed open, some movement that looked like my son's shirt going back and forth. After a little bit later again, my son came out and said, 'come with me, mama.'
He lead me around this corner to an area where glass windows are. The blinds are inside. They don't use the room there to much any more because all the babies are with their mothers in the rooms for the whole time after they are born. (How cool is that!).
The blind was pulled up, and there was The New Mama, Auntie Scarlett, and Shaylin Nicole! It was just a beautiful moment. The tears did fill and over flow, and I did the happy dance.
But, we weren't alone out there in the hall! It seems, to our right, a hall opened up for a ward for elderly people, and somehow, there being a baby there in that window, drew at least 15 or so, people over there! They came over in little packs like a signal was drawing them! It was freaky - funny, but freaky. All smiles and amazed at the child in the window.
They were all uuoohhhh-ing and awwwwww-ing, and Scarlett said --when Shaylin would make these really cute little faces,-- they would all make *the sound* in sync, and so from their side, it sounded like a choir!
I told my son, "well, I guess this is like her debut?" It was cute. Twelve Hours old, and there she was, capturing a crowd.
It put me in the mind of that expression about God's meanings and what He thought babies represented to us, His good opinion that the world should go on...
And seeing these strangers there in the hall, Ooohing and Awwwing over this sweet, little baby with us, no questions asked, that's exactly what I felt. God's Good Opinion has been passed on to us.
This baby is here now, and the world must go on, so we may as well be happy about it, or be pegged for fools! Even strangers in a hallway know to be overjoyed in unison at the site of a newborn baby. Sounds like a plan to me. A really good plan.
She's here!!
All is well. We got the call.
7 pounds, 4 ounces. 20 inches.
Shaylin Nicole.
Photos soon.
We are so happy.
We heard her crying, and every time Mama or Daddy would talk to her, she would quiet. Oh, this is going to be great!
7 pounds, 4 ounces. 20 inches.
Shaylin Nicole.
Photos soon.
We are so happy.
We heard her crying, and every time Mama or Daddy would talk to her, she would quiet. Oh, this is going to be great!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Texting!!
Texting during labor!! I love my cell phone! My son keeps doing a Mass Text -- updating us as things progress! All the phones go off, and we freak!
He sent us a jumble of the name. I think I got it ~
But the last text he wouldn't confirm, but the midwife is there, and we are at 8 CM ~
We are so excited over here! We wish we were there, but it's better that we are here, even though we wish we were there!!
I
am
going
to
be
a
GRANDMA!!!
He sent us a jumble of the name. I think I got it ~
But the last text he wouldn't confirm, but the midwife is there, and we are at 8 CM ~
We are so excited over here! We wish we were there, but it's better that we are here, even though we wish we were there!!
I
am
going
to
be
a
GRANDMA!!!
She's on her Way....
I am so excited! Tonight, right now, my son and daughter in law are having a baby!! They are at the hospital. I should have some news by tomorrow morning. I know that it's a girl.
I don't know her name, but I can hardly wait to meet her!
If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.
Vincent van Gogh
I don't know her name, but I can hardly wait to meet her!
If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.
Vincent van Gogh
Friday, December 12, 2008
There's a moon out tonight...
whoa, whoa, oohooooo ~
Tonight, a "perigee" is happening ... Go outside and look ~ QUICK!
At this link, you can really see the huge moon, and read the story
A full moon has occurred closer to the Earth than it has done at any time for the past 15 years.
The Moon's elliptical orbit means its distance from the Earth is not constant.
It was a little over 350,000km away as it passed over the northern hemisphere, about 30,000km closer than usual.
That, loosely translated means, the moon looks very, very big.
My photo is not professional. But there you have it. My evidence that I did see the perigee event. Yay, team.
(I don't know how the moon got squeeshed in this photo below. It looks like a huge jelly bean.)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
What others have said....
1. I do not much believe in education. Each man ought to be his own model, however frightful that may be. ~~ Albert Einstein
2. The magic of children is their ability to cloud our memories so that when we look back we recall only the golden moments, the sweet laughter and the sentimental tears, and none of the awful trials. ~~ Russell Baker
3. The greatest thing a human being ever does is to see something and tell what he see in a plain way. ~~ John Ruskin
2. The magic of children is their ability to cloud our memories so that when we look back we recall only the golden moments, the sweet laughter and the sentimental tears, and none of the awful trials. ~~ Russell Baker
3. The greatest thing a human being ever does is to see something and tell what he see in a plain way. ~~ John Ruskin
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
The Power of Positive Stress
This morning my Stress didn't even say good morning,
it said, "I am so tired. Why didn't you walk yesterday? Why didn't you marinate the chicken? There is no lettuce. There are no refried beans. What's up with no fruit in the house? Your cat is eating tinsel, for pity sakes - buy some cat food! Did you lose the stamps again?! Your plants need watering, and why is that frog-poo still on the porch! Good grief, woman! Finish that coffee and get the lead out!
I said, "Run, Forest, Run!!"
it said, "I am so tired. Why didn't you walk yesterday? Why didn't you marinate the chicken? There is no lettuce. There are no refried beans. What's up with no fruit in the house? Your cat is eating tinsel, for pity sakes - buy some cat food! Did you lose the stamps again?! Your plants need watering, and why is that frog-poo still on the porch! Good grief, woman! Finish that coffee and get the lead out!
I said, "Run, Forest, Run!!"
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