I have to admit, I'm a little confused about my feelings this year about many, many things. I'm living in new and uncharted territory in my life, but I thought maybe I would save that list for another day.
I want to tell you all that I am thinking of you today. No matter where you are in the world, I hope you feel a wave of blessings come upon you. Know you are loved and cared about. I wish you well.
Thanksgiving for our family is like 25 people and lots of cooking, and don't ask me how, but I ended having to make just two spinach quiches! Weird. Maybe I'm supposed to bring a dessert? I can't remember, but I have learned by now, there are always plenty of desserts.
I don't cook turkey any more. Nope. No matter how I cook them, what brand I buy, what secret ritual I try to perform, they are dry, and, to me, tasteless. I don't even eat turkey any more. So, if I had my way, I'd pardon all the birds. I am done with turkey.
But Thanksgiving is not the turkey. I guess what it turns out to be, is what we decide to make it.
So, I'll make it about Payback --
Because I am in debt --
So this is my Thanksgiving.
I will be showing my family and friends love and support unconditionally, as they have shown me in my times of need. I'll make it about being there when my family and friends need me, listening to those who need an ear or a shoulder. I doubt I will ever reach the amount I owe, but I will make this effort my passion.
I will love and support those in my life, blindly. I will love first, ask questions later, if I ask at all. I will remember that you get out what you put in, so I will put in only good stuff.
I will tell my inner child that everything's alright, we can love like the big people do now. We are okay.
I will forgive without being asked. I will save my anger for things that it can be useful for.
I will take care of myself as best I can, so I can be here for those who need me.
I will be relentless in trying to learn what is right and what is true. I will not judge, if I do not have, too. And if I have too, let mercy be my guide.
And, I will always, always be kind.
I wish for each of you a wonderful day. Please take a second to feel the love that is out there for you. Breathe it in, breathe it back out into the world. Yeah, you are loved. I wish for you to know that.
My best wishes to you
on this third Thursday
in the month of November,
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
These times, these days
Did I know that my life would take this turn? I'm not sure. Maybe somehow, deep inside, in that place where the knowledge of all things we know, lies, I did?
If the universe records all our thoughts and gives them back to us as we somehow determine they should come to us, did I do this?
Regardless or irregardless of that being fact, I see more and more reason for positive thoughts and thinking than negative.
Sometimes, these days, I'm scared. But, what's the point of that? I don't think we were meant to live on this earth with the feeling of being scared. So that leaves me to find the way through the maze of fear - and get over it.
If the universe records all our thoughts and gives them back to us as we somehow determine they should come to us, did I do this?
Regardless or irregardless of that being fact, I see more and more reason for positive thoughts and thinking than negative.
Sometimes, these days, I'm scared. But, what's the point of that? I don't think we were meant to live on this earth with the feeling of being scared. So that leaves me to find the way through the maze of fear - and get over it.
Friday, October 19, 2012
These days.
These are new days of a season in my life as I am now, officially, an empty-nester. I loved those days of my children being here, living here. I love being a mom, and I love doing all the necessary 'mom things' that each phase dictated; the chore of meeting their needs and making sure they did enough chores and understand even though they were not the center of the universe, they were the center of mine, wanting to spoil them and knowing that would spoil their beautiful beings; I love talking with them, laughing with them, oh such wonderful creatures are our children, blessings from God.
Each day has always brought something new and exciting. You never knew what a day would bring. And that was great and wonderful, most exciting thing. A spider found in the bathtub was dramatic! He must be returned to his home outside alive, but he must not touch us in the process. Learning to sort out the most important things of each day was a mission, but I was always hoping to remember it was 'the moment' that was going to end up being important.
I thank the good Lord that I knew they were each individual beings from the very beginning of their very beginnings.
I loved my children from the moment I knew the idea was possible for me to have them. I savored them. They were so lovely, sweet and innocent as they entered the world. And I was going to be able to take them home and keep them!! Oh my. Incredible! What an incredible gift!
The time does go by so quickly, though. Getting to know them, and trying to 'train them up in the way they should go', it all comes at such a rapid fire pace! And that phrase, 'train up a child the way he should go, was a phrase that unfolded to me, so slowly, as to it's real meaning.
How could I train them up the way they should go, if I didn't know them? And how could I know them before we could have many conversations and observations and share a deep contemplation for what could be the true meaning of life -- which took the time of growing up to do? How could I train them and know them at the same time? I think that is part of the reason it's important to live in the 'now' of the moment, the way little kids do, and to love the moment you are in. Because in the end, the moment is all you have.
The more I live in the present moment, the happier I become. It takes me a moment when I see each of my children, to catch my breath from the joy that sweeps over me just looking at them as they enter a room. I have been blessed. And, I thank the good Lord for that. Even on the days I forget.
These are new days of a season in my life as I am now, officially, an empty-nester. I loved those days of my children being here, living here. I love being a mom, and I love doing all the necessary 'mom things' that each phase dictated; the chore of meeting their needs and making sure they did enough chores and understand even though they were not the center of the universe, they were the center of mine, wanting to spoil them and knowing that would spoil their beautiful beings; I love talking with them, laughing with them, oh such wonderful creatures are our children, blessings from God.
Each day has always brought something new and exciting. You never knew what a day would bring. And that was great and wonderful, most exciting thing. A spider found in the bathtub was dramatic! He must be returned to his home outside alive, but he must not touch us in the process. Learning to sort out the most important things of each day was a mission, but I was always hoping to remember it was 'the moment' that was going to end up being important.
I thank the good Lord that I knew they were each individual beings from the very beginning of their very beginnings.
I loved my children from the moment I knew the idea was possible for me to have them. I savored them. They were so lovely, sweet and innocent as they entered the world. And I was going to be able to take them home and keep them!! Oh my. Incredible! What an incredible gift!
The time does go by so quickly, though. Getting to know them, and trying to 'train them up in the way they should go', it all comes at such a rapid fire pace! And that phrase, 'train up a child the way he should go, was a phrase that unfolded to me, so slowly, as to it's real meaning.
How could I train them up the way they should go, if I didn't know them? And how could I know them before we could have many conversations and observations and share a deep contemplation for what could be the true meaning of life -- which took the time of growing up to do? How could I train them and know them at the same time? I think that is part of the reason it's important to live in the 'now' of the moment, the way little kids do, and to love the moment you are in. Because in the end, the moment is all you have.
The more I live in the present moment, the happier I become. It takes me a moment when I see each of my children, to catch my breath from the joy that sweeps over me just looking at them as they enter a room. I have been blessed. And, I thank the good Lord for that. Even on the days I forget.
Monday, October 08, 2012
Transparancy
Today. I touched a snake. I was at the nature center close to my home, picking one of my nephews up from camp. He loves to go into the area where the wild things are after class. The volunteers there take out just about any creature and let you touch them. I had faint visions of myself being enclosed in a make-shift home and then some creature picking me up to stroke my backside, so when he offered to let me touch the snake, I was kind and gentle, hoping some unfamiliar creature might be the same towards me.
There was a couple there who were struggling with their English but doing quite well. They were very interested in the little creatures that had been offered for a personal visit. The lady wanted to touch the snake but kind of stood back, she looked at me kind of quickly, and honestly, I am not one much for making rules and leading the way, but I felt in that split second, just the insta sec, that if I touched the snake, she would allow herself to do something she really wanted to do. So, I touched the snake.
I turned and smiled at her. She said to her husband, "I'm going to touch the snake."
End of story was good. Smiles. Smiles transcend all languages. And I'm sure the snake was happy, too.
There was a couple there who were struggling with their English but doing quite well. They were very interested in the little creatures that had been offered for a personal visit. The lady wanted to touch the snake but kind of stood back, she looked at me kind of quickly, and honestly, I am not one much for making rules and leading the way, but I felt in that split second, just the insta sec, that if I touched the snake, she would allow herself to do something she really wanted to do. So, I touched the snake.
I turned and smiled at her. She said to her husband, "I'm going to touch the snake."
End of story was good. Smiles. Smiles transcend all languages. And I'm sure the snake was happy, too.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Skip to #4 for my epiphany of the day
So few things:
1. I have purchased some good vitamins. And, I am taking them everyday. Got the B's going and the Synergy Multi and the extra B-12 , Biotin and protein and green smoothies, the right measurement of the EPA and the DHA, or is it the DEA and PBJ, anyway, all that jazz. I have so much energy that I am actually doing more stuff! But, that makes me tired, all the more stuff I do.
So what's better -- getting more done and being tired? Or not getting a lot of stuff done and being tired? I'd say it's really a catch-22 and literally a state of mind. I'm living with door #1.
2. My epidermis is aging faster than my brainerdermous. All that baking I did in the sun in my early years when I wasn't afraid of the sun? Using Baby Oil for tanning lotion? What was I, an idiot? Geesh. Well, those layers are finally coming up to the top and they are of a questionable looking nature. My dermatologist wants me to do this Carac treatment on my entire face for 3 weeks, and then call her if I think it looks really terrible. (Whatttt?? No. You know I am going to call you IF anything is on my face ugly at the end of 3 weeks!)
So, I came home and Googled 'carac treatment' and found some really, truly brave people who filmed their experience for 40 days of treatment and I want to thank them! After what I saw, there is no way that my vanity is that altered or enlightened that I will be doing that and going out into the public. I will be doing a section at a time, thank you very much. And probably wearing a mask.
What I am secretly praying for is that my Hispanic genes are going to hold fast and true and I shall be just spotted but with no cancerous out bursts. It'll be a while before I know, though. I've decided to divide my face up into 65 sections.
(Seriously, just go to You Tube and check out the videos. I watched without the sound, but still... Brave people)
3. I am getting rid of more material stuff and it does feel great. Why is that? Is that actually weight? I'm not sure. But, I've heard all kinds of stories and ideas about when someone starts to give their stuff away --- And all I can say is, I can't take it with me, and really, no one wants to deal with this after you're dead. I should divide everything up into 65 sections, take one section a week, and in the next year and a half, or so, you do the math, I could just circle back and get rid of more stuff, and what am I talking about now? All that circling ... I'm tired from thinking about it! I'll take another B-12.
4. My epiphany of the day -- If you have not already gotten over yourself, you so should go ahead and do that.
5. What really matters to you? I mean that in the sense of what bothers you or upsets you? Do yourself a great big, huge favor and Don't let it be the small things. You will find there are many small things. And that will make for a really prickly life if you choose to be bothered by these things. I speak from experience.
Seeing your children grow up helps you see what really matters. Having a grandchild, wow, that is like the capital crown of the visibility of innocence that the really big people in the world get together and all ruin. But yeah, I started to see more clearly what was more important. And the hug was more important that the spaghetti stain from the cutest little hands that were just eating pasta. and she just had to hug her Grandma. Yeah.
6. Be good because you should. Who defines good? That would be you.
7. If you are not having any fun, I am sorry to tell you this, but you are wasting time and are in a rut. There is just no point in not having some fun. I mean, seriously, go write on your walls if you need too, just do something that makes you smile and feel good inside.
I am hooked on these little random acts of kindness. My favorite is kids in the check out lines. I have the cashier put their stuff on my bill. It's so funny. Because they are always confused.
This one cashier at the Dollar Store is just hilarious. She always acts like we are doing under cover work and is all stealth about it. My hope is that whenever I do these things, it will continue the spark and someone else will want to do them, too.
Anyway, enough blather.
Life is good if you want it to be. I hope we all discover that before the last page. The one that says:
The End.
1. I have purchased some good vitamins. And, I am taking them everyday. Got the B's going and the Synergy Multi and the extra B-12 , Biotin and protein and green smoothies, the right measurement of the EPA and the DHA, or is it the DEA and PBJ, anyway, all that jazz. I have so much energy that I am actually doing more stuff! But, that makes me tired, all the more stuff I do.
So what's better -- getting more done and being tired? Or not getting a lot of stuff done and being tired? I'd say it's really a catch-22 and literally a state of mind. I'm living with door #1.
2. My epidermis is aging faster than my brainerdermous. All that baking I did in the sun in my early years when I wasn't afraid of the sun? Using Baby Oil for tanning lotion? What was I, an idiot? Geesh. Well, those layers are finally coming up to the top and they are of a questionable looking nature. My dermatologist wants me to do this Carac treatment on my entire face for 3 weeks, and then call her if I think it looks really terrible. (Whatttt?? No. You know I am going to call you IF anything is on my face ugly at the end of 3 weeks!)
So, I came home and Googled 'carac treatment' and found some really, truly brave people who filmed their experience for 40 days of treatment and I want to thank them! After what I saw, there is no way that my vanity is that altered or enlightened that I will be doing that and going out into the public. I will be doing a section at a time, thank you very much. And probably wearing a mask.
What I am secretly praying for is that my Hispanic genes are going to hold fast and true and I shall be just spotted but with no cancerous out bursts. It'll be a while before I know, though. I've decided to divide my face up into 65 sections.
(Seriously, just go to You Tube and check out the videos. I watched without the sound, but still... Brave people)
3. I am getting rid of more material stuff and it does feel great. Why is that? Is that actually weight? I'm not sure. But, I've heard all kinds of stories and ideas about when someone starts to give their stuff away --- And all I can say is, I can't take it with me, and really, no one wants to deal with this after you're dead. I should divide everything up into 65 sections, take one section a week, and in the next year and a half, or so, you do the math, I could just circle back and get rid of more stuff, and what am I talking about now? All that circling ... I'm tired from thinking about it! I'll take another B-12.
4. My epiphany of the day -- If you have not already gotten over yourself, you so should go ahead and do that.
5. What really matters to you? I mean that in the sense of what bothers you or upsets you? Do yourself a great big, huge favor and Don't let it be the small things. You will find there are many small things. And that will make for a really prickly life if you choose to be bothered by these things. I speak from experience.
Seeing your children grow up helps you see what really matters. Having a grandchild, wow, that is like the capital crown of the visibility of innocence that the really big people in the world get together and all ruin. But yeah, I started to see more clearly what was more important. And the hug was more important that the spaghetti stain from the cutest little hands that were just eating pasta. and she just had to hug her Grandma. Yeah.
6. Be good because you should. Who defines good? That would be you.
7. If you are not having any fun, I am sorry to tell you this, but you are wasting time and are in a rut. There is just no point in not having some fun. I mean, seriously, go write on your walls if you need too, just do something that makes you smile and feel good inside.
I am hooked on these little random acts of kindness. My favorite is kids in the check out lines. I have the cashier put their stuff on my bill. It's so funny. Because they are always confused.
This one cashier at the Dollar Store is just hilarious. She always acts like we are doing under cover work and is all stealth about it. My hope is that whenever I do these things, it will continue the spark and someone else will want to do them, too.
Anyway, enough blather.
Life is good if you want it to be. I hope we all discover that before the last page. The one that says:
The End.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
I am blessed - Truly, Madly, Deeply blessed
I don't understand the new blogger set up. Now, when I sign in, I get this page to write something. Maybe I'm not ready to write. Maybe I just want to sit here with my coffee at 6:03 in the AM and think about stuff:
Stuff - like how cool my kids are turning out to be. They are growing up and in their thirties and twenties now. Young adults in society. They vote. They pay taxes. They are in relationships. I am a grandmother!
Gosh, you start out by finding out you are going to Have A Baby and the mind just freaks with all kinds of possibilities. So many things to write about that one thought, but one thing I am glad of is that --I did homeschooling with them.
Why? Because homeschooling is the end/all/of/the/be/all or whatever? No. Because these were unique and individual gifts given to me and I just really didn't want to let someone else have them for that many hours a day. I thought they were just so precious, so cool, so just beyond any idea I had of what was the best thing in the world, oh so lovely and wonderful - I wanted them around. I wanted to experience them!~ Amazing!! They are so Amazing!!
Yes, their Amazing-ness has manifested into something that is tangible and real at the same time. I am so fortunate to have lived in a time when I could have decided to homeschool my children. And there were all kinds of comments voiced about this choice at the time (from my family and society). All I can say is, I am so happy that I had either the naivete or the guts or the God-given interior strength to withstand all those things and to follow my heart. Because I really wanted to be around these children of mine. I thank the God I know in Heaven, the creator of the Universe, for that opportunity.
I love my kids. My children. My two sons and my one daughter - unique in every way. Kind and wonderful. I love them --- Truly, Madly, Deeply....and beyond..
Stuff - like how cool my kids are turning out to be. They are growing up and in their thirties and twenties now. Young adults in society. They vote. They pay taxes. They are in relationships. I am a grandmother!
Gosh, you start out by finding out you are going to Have A Baby and the mind just freaks with all kinds of possibilities. So many things to write about that one thought, but one thing I am glad of is that --I did homeschooling with them.
Why? Because homeschooling is the end/all/of/the/be/all or whatever? No. Because these were unique and individual gifts given to me and I just really didn't want to let someone else have them for that many hours a day. I thought they were just so precious, so cool, so just beyond any idea I had of what was the best thing in the world, oh so lovely and wonderful - I wanted them around. I wanted to experience them!~ Amazing!! They are so Amazing!!
Yes, their Amazing-ness has manifested into something that is tangible and real at the same time. I am so fortunate to have lived in a time when I could have decided to homeschool my children. And there were all kinds of comments voiced about this choice at the time (from my family and society). All I can say is, I am so happy that I had either the naivete or the guts or the God-given interior strength to withstand all those things and to follow my heart. Because I really wanted to be around these children of mine. I thank the God I know in Heaven, the creator of the Universe, for that opportunity.
I love my kids. My children. My two sons and my one daughter - unique in every way. Kind and wonderful. I love them --- Truly, Madly, Deeply....and beyond..
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Albert Nobbs
An interesting story about a life being lost at what looked like the point of the most upward swing. But the sadness is gone in the realization that another innocent life has been saved in a most unconventional way. Brings tears to your eyes at the possibility of hope.
Friday, May 11, 2012
There is life before coffee
Everyday is something, right? Before coffee it's almost a blur for me though....
One day last week the weather was so beautiful, I opened the front door to admire it. It was early in the AM, such a fresh and lovely day, birds chirping, butterflies flying...when all of a sudden this huge black dog, of whom I was of no acquaintance , came into the house justa movin' and a shakin' and flapping his spittle all around. When you are not quite awake, this is a weird and unusual thing. You begin to look for signs and meanings, predictions and forecasts, wondering if you have been cursed by a gypsy, blessed by the universe, or did you wake up to the wrong yard.
I've encountered dogs I haven't known before, and if I tell them to sit and they do, then I know they're okay. I figure they belong to a human bean somewhere So, I got this baby elephant of a dog to sit, sort of. He was more like moving constantly while he tried hard to keep his backside on the ground, and it took me a bucket on spit from him to finally get hold of his collar, he just wanted to lick me~!* and luckily for him, his name and home number were on a tag there around his neck.
I called his house, and a groggy gentlemen answered hello...I mean, it wasn't even 7:15, but so sorry, Hunter, a large black version of Clifford the Big Red Dog, needed to go home. The man assured me someone would be there very shortly. He didn't live far away.
I got Hunter to follow me all around my house while I got some water for him to drink and fairly soon a white van pulled up. It had a back door that opened automatically. The owner had it already opened when she turned my corner (I guess her husband just went back to sleep) and Hunter took off and jumped inside.
"I don't know how he got out," she called out as she was closing the door behind Hunter. and driving away, He is so huge, I thought, I don't know how you missed him getting out, but oh well, he was safe and sound now.
Sometimes we all just need a little adventure in our day. Hopefully, if we stumble into someone's yard other than our own, they will be so kind as to help us on our way home. It was the least I could do. I don't know if I will ever run into Hunter again, as I am sure his owners have bolted every exit he knew.
But, alas, we know, every dog has his day. I do hope Hunter enjoyed his.
*yuk
One day last week the weather was so beautiful, I opened the front door to admire it. It was early in the AM, such a fresh and lovely day, birds chirping, butterflies flying...when all of a sudden this huge black dog, of whom I was of no acquaintance , came into the house justa movin' and a shakin' and flapping his spittle all around. When you are not quite awake, this is a weird and unusual thing. You begin to look for signs and meanings, predictions and forecasts, wondering if you have been cursed by a gypsy, blessed by the universe, or did you wake up to the wrong yard.
I've encountered dogs I haven't known before, and if I tell them to sit and they do, then I know they're okay. I figure they belong to a human bean somewhere So, I got this baby elephant of a dog to sit, sort of. He was more like moving constantly while he tried hard to keep his backside on the ground, and it took me a bucket on spit from him to finally get hold of his collar, he just wanted to lick me~!* and luckily for him, his name and home number were on a tag there around his neck.
I called his house, and a groggy gentlemen answered hello...I mean, it wasn't even 7:15, but so sorry, Hunter, a large black version of Clifford the Big Red Dog, needed to go home. The man assured me someone would be there very shortly. He didn't live far away.
I got Hunter to follow me all around my house while I got some water for him to drink and fairly soon a white van pulled up. It had a back door that opened automatically. The owner had it already opened when she turned my corner (I guess her husband just went back to sleep) and Hunter took off and jumped inside.
"I don't know how he got out," she called out as she was closing the door behind Hunter. and driving away, He is so huge, I thought, I don't know how you missed him getting out, but oh well, he was safe and sound now.
Sometimes we all just need a little adventure in our day. Hopefully, if we stumble into someone's yard other than our own, they will be so kind as to help us on our way home. It was the least I could do. I don't know if I will ever run into Hunter again, as I am sure his owners have bolted every exit he knew.
But, alas, we know, every dog has his day. I do hope Hunter enjoyed his.
*yuk
Saturday, April 07, 2012
"Life Goes On"
Life Goes On
If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower
Nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I am gone
Speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves
That I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So .... sing as well
Joyce Grenfell
1910-1979
If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower
Nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I am gone
Speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves
That I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So .... sing as well
Joyce Grenfell
1910-1979
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