Going through stuff

"There's no way through it, but through it." ...Jackson Browne

Just tired of adding the numbers

Jobless.  Caught in the wave of unemployment that is rippling through the country right now praying and hoping, hoping, hoping, we will not have to spend the last dollars of our savings to get through this.  I've found a new part time job to replace the lovely one I had, but it's hard work with no guarantee of hours.  And to keep my other part-time job, I find I have to run from one to the other ... Most days it has worked out.  So I will consider that a blessing.

The new hard work is making my hands, my wrists, my knees, and my back sore and achy.  What will happen?  Will I be able to sustain it?  I refuse to answer 'no' - I can't answer 'no'.  Whether I keep doing this, or not keep doing this, I am doing something and I am generating income.

Then enters the reasoning of another - "If you keep doing that job, then you are closing the door to another, better job for you."  Oh Brother.  I can't say that is wrong.  I can't say that is right.  I only know, when I add the numbers, this amount of money puts something in towards my bills for the month.

Thoughts are things.  Thoughts are real.  Thoughts have power.  Does only our belief in that make it true?  I don't know for sure, but when I look back in my life, I didn't plan for this.  So, it leaves me to wonder if not planning for this, made this happen?  Because, honestly, I'm not sure I planned for anything. 

Thanksgiving - Let's be thankful and giving

I have to admit, I'm a little confused about my feelings this year about many, many things. I'm living in new and uncharted territory in my life, but I thought maybe I would save that list for another day.
I want to tell you all that I am thinking of you today. No matter where you are in the world, I hope you feel a wave of blessings come upon you. Know you are loved and cared about. I wish you well.
Thanksgiving for our family is like 25 people and lots of cooking, and don't ask me how, but I ended having to make just two spinach quiches! Weird. Maybe I'm supposed to bring a dessert? I can't remember, but I have learned by now, there are always plenty of desserts.
I don't cook turkey any more. Nope. No matter how I cook them, what brand I buy, what secret ritual I try to perform, they are dry, and, to me, tasteless. I don't even eat turkey any more. So, if I had my way, I'd pardon all the birds. I am done with turkey.
But Thanksgiving is not the turkey. I guess what it turns out to be, is what we decide to make it.
So, I'll make it about Payback --
Because I am in debt --
So this is my Thanksgiving.
I will be showing my family and friends love and support unconditionally, as they have shown me in my times of need. I'll make it about being there when my family and friends need me, listening to those who need an ear or a shoulder. I doubt I will ever reach the amount I owe, but I will make this effort my passion.
I will love and support those in my life, blindly. I will love first, ask questions later, if I ask at all. I will remember that you get out what you put in, so I will put in only good stuff.
I will tell my inner child that everything's alright, we can love like the big people do now. We are okay.
I will forgive without being asked. I will save my anger for things that it can be useful for.
I will take care of myself as best I can, so I can be here for those who need me.
I will be relentless in trying to learn what is right and what is true. I will not judge, if I do not have, too. And if I have too, let mercy be my guide.
And, I will always, always be kind.
I wish for each of you a wonderful day. Please take a second to feel the love that is out there for you. Breathe it in, breathe it back out into the world. Yeah, you are loved. I wish for you to know that.
My best wishes to you
on this third Thursday
in the month of November,

These times, these days

Did I know that my life would take this turn?  I'm not sure.  Maybe somehow, deep inside, in that place where the knowledge of all things we know, lies, I did?

 If the universe records all our thoughts and gives them back to us as we somehow determine they should come to us, did I do this?

Regardless or irregardless of that being fact, I see more and more reason for positive thoughts and thinking than negative. 

Sometimes, these days, I'm scared.  But, what's the point of that?  I don't think we were meant to live on this earth with the feeling of being scared.  So that leaves me to find the way through the maze of fear - and get over it.