The Syrian Bride

The story ~ A young woman is getting married. On her wedding day she will leave her family and never see them again. They are all aware of this. It's what the land they live in dictates.

The place ~ The Golan Heights which is a very small area of land bordering Israel and Syria. Who knew it was there? Not me. Actually, this link of Roger Ebert tells you the story of The Syrian Bride, as well as I could if I felt like writing it all out.

The movie was enjoyable, there were subtitles which I do like for a change now and then, but more interesting than the actual film, I found, was the interview with the actress Hiam Abbass. I had checked out the film from the library and her interview is in the part called Special Features.

She speaks of what it is like to be a Palestinian born in Israel. She is Palestinian blood, but because she was actually born in Israel, she is considered an Israeli. She was raised in a Muslim household.

She spoke of the unrest in her part of the world and said that if others would stay out of it, she feels they could resolve their differences on their own. Wouldn't she know better than some of us?

She also mentioned that the film was a collaboration of Israelis and Arabs. The differences known to the world of their dislike for each other did not touch that film set. Gosh, it really makes one wonder, what is going on in this world, you know? What is real and what is fake? Why such effort to keep hate brewing for something different than yourself going? What's it all about, Alfie?

It just makes no sense, sometimes, no sense at all.

Clouded illusions or Lying?

I want to understand why the people who say that the profits of insurance companies "has not shown an increase", don't understand how tax returns work for corporations. Their profits don't go up because they revel in the deductions which turn out to be benefits for them.

1. Bonuses are a deduction

2. Big parties a deduction

3. PAY RAISES a deduction

4. Profits are a DECISION. The companies decide what is profit and what is not.
4a. That means big pay raises for CEO's which don't count as profit,
4b. and on and on ad infinitum.

5. Look it up, seriously.

Corporations DO NOT file their tax returns the same as the regular EVERYMAN. Never have, and most likely, never will. Corporations have long held this advantage.

The profits of the poor little ole insurance companies are being misrepresented. That is my opinion stated from what I know of stuff. Maybe from what you know of stuff, you have something different to say and can defend the insurance companies - health and otherwise -- who are now standing with their brother and sister corporations and taking over things they have no business taking over --

Which is ~ making a profit from someone's illness.

All that blather and I want to add one more thing:

I think there are some up there in Washington who are fully aware of what I am fully aware of, and I wonder how it is they sleep at night. I wonder how it is they really think that causing financial disaster to ill and dying people is in any way a good thing.

For all the thinking I have done about it, I can't see where that decision is the best and better one.

Just sayin' ...

1. I do not care what Tiger Woods and Toyota have in common. I prefer hummus to hubris. I did not give my time over to the 14 minutes Tiger talked about his major mess up. Tsk, tsk, tsk ~ it's a fine mess that you have both gotten yourselves into, Ollie.

2. There is something different about Peanut M & M's these days. I haven't figured it out yet, but they look, uh, different. They are all funny and odd shapes and have just a wee bit of nut in them. I have got to get a photo.

3. According to recent reports, the use of marijuana is increasing for Baby Boomers. And well, I guess so. Their need to relax increases as the continuous accusations of their being at fault for the breakdown of the country continues daily!

They are, after all, the cause of everything! Health care going bust, retirement care on the rise, tax burdens and ad infinitum. Everything is the fault of the Baby Boomers. So, they light up another joint and try to deal ...

4. The Democrats and the Republicans continue to fight about how to fix health care. Shame on them all for not just coming up with a plan that treats everyone fairly that needs health care and that keeps us all from going broke. If they would just let their prejudices fall aside, and do this for the good of people, I think they could work it out. But nooooooo ...

5. A training program on laughter as a health benefit costs $349.00 per person for a two day class. Somehow, I don't find that funny. That is a lot of money IMGAHO. But, one does get a t-shirt and a box lunch on day two. And a continued education certificate is available at an additional cost. Maybe that would make someone at least smile?

War. Why can't we just say no?

"War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today."
~ John F. Kennedy

Last night we viewed the Academy Award nominated film, The Hurt Locker.

I am not really sure what to say about this film. It is about a special military unit in the Army - the bomb squad - stationed in Iraq. It's a day to day count down, almost appearing documentary at times, which is what makes the realism of that so sad.

The film's subject matter I don't like ~ war ~ but, if there is going to be war, and people are going to allow lives to be sacrificed, then they should probably view this film.

There were times I had to look away.

I could not understand what made the film's main character tick. I could not understand why taking a risk was such a thrill for him, but I couldn't help imagining that, perhaps, if there was not a war for him, that he would maybe have found happiness in bungee jumping or climbing Mount Everest.

Whatever reason we might come up with to have a war, my prayer is that it is a damned important serious kick ass reason. Otherwise, I cannot, can not, allow myself to support such a venture.

So, as far as the film is concerned, be warned. The material is delicate, and those viewing will have to deal with the cold hard fact that this is going on, and also, that you, yourself, may have supported such an atrocity.

I did not, will not, and shall not.

"Prayer is meaningless unless it is subversive, unless it seeks to overthrow and to ruin the pyramids of callousness, hatred, opportunism, falsehoods.
~Abraham Joshua Heschel

Today my daughter is 20

I have always labored over birthday cards, always feeling that I could do better than the words written in them and just despising the cost these days, but, I found this card, and I would compliment the writer from Hallmark --

How to Make a Beautiful Life

Reflections for a Daughter on her Birthday

Love yourself.
make peace with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.

Listen to your heart.
If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, MAKE TIME for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try.
Take chances. MAKE MISTAKES. Life can be messy at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping-stone.

Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have.
MAKE DO. That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to toromrrow. You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY. To know where you're going is only part of it.
You need to know where you've been, too.

And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it.

Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you.'

MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE...
The kind of life you deserve.

No sense, some ability

Today I thought I was some kind of super gardener. I decided to transplant a geranium.

I thought I could use a very large shovel with one hand. No. I have not mastered this skill.

I dug up the geranium and with a very large shovel in right hand and geranium in left hand, I decided to dig a hole, one handed. I would not recommend this.

The shovel handle flew up in my face. And it felt like a knock out punch. I thought to myself, "Stupid is as stupid does." (Stupid)

Curious things...

My sister solved a mystery:

I had mentioned that I am reading Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control.

My sister told me to read this book because one day, last week, and the reason I mention , last week - is because I called her right after I left my parents house because I was freaked out (again) that my father makes me so uncomfortable when he comes into, what I would consider, my personal space,

and I am thinking that this should not bother me any more. So, I shouldn't feel like I'm going to come out of my skin any more, I was thinking. So, I felt a little freaked out and even guilty, and I just knew that was weird and uncalled for at this autumn season of my life!

I mean, after all, he is just approaching me to talk (and talk and talk) and because I keep backing up or moving away, he keeps coming closer, and I become extremely uncomfortable and experience a flight or flight response.

Since I am, now, older than Jackson Browne and constantly working on becoming a better person and conquering ego and all that higher evolving stuff and trying to practice love and forgiveness, I really thought I was 'over it' with my dad (as our relationship was sharp edged and rocky.) But, I knew his story now, how he was abandoned and mixed up and confused as a child~

Anyway, so I called my sister this day - last week - and asked her, "What in the hell is wrong with me!? I know dad is trying to be kind in his old age, but I cannot stand for him to get that close to me! Why does this keep happening!?"

And she said, "Because he threw a mattress on you."

I didn't answer right away. The mattress incident is such a mystery to me, but from the eyes of a 7 year old, here is what happened:

One day I walked into my parents room, cannot remember why. My parents were doing something with the mattresses, or something like that, and I looked up to see a mattress falling on me. I began to smoother. I did not call out, and was very, very scared. I thought my father was aware of the situation and did not care that I was in it. I was afraid of him, so I fought for breath until the mattress was lifted off.

Neither of my parents acknowledged that I was under the mattress, let alone close to passing out.

The incident has perplexed me a good portion of my life and certainly did nothing to endear me to my father and left me in a state of confusion about my mother. My father has always scared me. I think I have some kind of sensitivity disorder and loud yelling at random moments directed at me for reasons I did not know, made my heart beat uncontrollably.

I realize now, he knew nothing about parenting in the emotional sense. My parents were 17 and found themselves in a situation, and dealt with it best they could.

In the book, I found information in Chapter One that addresses the memories of trauma in a child's life. I would consider the incident with the mattress, trauma.

And so what happens, apparently, is that when my father gets close to me, that memory and the others that are trauma like and as unresolved as the mattress incident, produce the feelings that make me want to back up into the wall and keep going as far away from him is I can, and it makes me feel really strange.

Just reading the information in this first chapter, turned my head in another direction. Today when I saw him, I didn't feel the fear.

That's all I can say about this right now. But, that is better than the way it was.

A book I'm reading

"Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control",
Author Heather T. Forbes, LCSW
and B. Bryan Post, PhD, LCSW

I have read very little of the book yet. My sister has suggested it, and I was reading through the Foreward last night. It is a book that is attempting to help a parent (or person) deal with disrupted attachments.

Attachment is something that happens from the beginning moments of life in this realm. When a child is placed in our arms for our protection, something begins that will affect things forever.

More later.

I so can cook...and I found my potato peeler

On the home front ...

1. Today was a day off for me, and it kind of turned into an off day. I spent my time cleaning out one drawer in my bathroom. The top left drawer. It was a major task, of sorts, I will not lie. I think everything I own had made it's way into that one drawer.

I have this really bad habit of putting anything left over in my hand in that drawer (How fortunate to find my potato peeler!). That way, I can be sure to find whatever it was later (in another life maybe).

Only, the day had finally arrived in which the point of ~ drawer saturation ~ had been reached. (It can happen.) A coup dʼétat, one may say, as the drawer had reached its limit of tolerance for my total disregard of putting anything away, away.

My catch-all, sure safe, no-lose anything drawer was no longer able to allow me to sustain my need for the ability to identify one single item without moving and shifting and lifting just about everything in it. So, I gave up, and today I cleaned it. I dumped the contents on my bed. (And the bed collapsed.)

I filled 5 of my empty candle jars with items from aforementioned drawer. I wrote on the jars with black permanent marker to help me identify the contents at a glance. Like one say "eyes". And I drew an 'eye' on it. (I guess, just in case, it would be late at night, and I couldn't read my own writing or see what was in the jar??) I put all my contact cases, refresh tubes of eye stuff in ~ and then I was thinking, "why do I need 9 contact lens cases?" Since I did not have an answer to that question, I put the jar in the cabinet with all the eye related materials and moved on.

My favorite jar is the last one I did. I got tired of cleaning out the drawer, so I marked one the jars 'miscellaneous', threw the rest of the stuff in there, and voilà! I was done~ and reveled in my brilliance. The drawer is now mostly empty. (I am tempted to put a piece of paper with the date in it and follow up on how long it takes to fill it up again.) All jars fit perfectly in the cabinet!

2. Because I spent so much time cleaning a drawer, I didn't get to the grocery store. I really did need to go there. But I am getting really experienced at this, that is making dinner from what appears to be nothing ...as that is what it did appear to me. Here is what I had: one pound of hamburger and for my vegetarian daughter, one can of refried beans.

So. What could I add to that? I had one half an onion and one quarter of a red pepper, so I sauteed the onion and the red pepper, then added the ground beef. And since the refrigerator was so bare, I could plainly see some green salsa. (That stuff can adjust the flavor of anything to the positive for us!) After the meat was finished, I drained off all the fat, and added the green salsa.

I searched the cabinets and discovered a jar containing a cup of white rice. We stopped eating white rice a long while ago, but white rice never dies. And, an added bonus!~ I found a wayward package of enchilada sauce. Oh happy day~!

I got the rice going and divided the enchilada sauce between the beans and the meat (being careful not to mix the spoons, you know, my daughter the vegetarian?)...but I still needed something green, and I wasn't sure I could count the salsa as a vegetable.

The freezer held very few items, but I could clearly see a folded package of something in a zip lock bag and lo and behold~! Peas!!

I rinsed the peas off really, really well and sprinkled them with Nature's Seasoning and garlic powder (which I also sprinkled in the meat the the beans). As soon as the timer went off for the rice (yes, I cook with a timer, a most needed tool for me) I added the peas and let it sit for 5 minutes ...

And wow!!
What a dinner!

3. I'm ending the day rewatching Sense and Sensibility. And thinking of myself as one that may have no sense, but comes through on the ability.

Can you see the forest?

Miscellaneous stuff I need to get out of my head to make room for other stuff:

1. Sarah Palin's palm notes (or as other writers noted: Sarah's Palm Pilot). Those who love Sarah and the Republican party jumped to her defense with this type of logic:

-- remarks akin to 'doesn't everyone use palm notes, or notes'?,

--and, as far as I can tell, which really who knows how far that is, that wasn't the point of pointing out the palm notes ...

-- *I* think the point was that she was referring to President Obama as "a charismatic guy with a Teleprompter". So, in effect, she created an oxymoron. (Hilarious!)

We can look at both of these people and their prompters, albeit their palm or their teles, and study them intensely with bold headlines and front page news and read blogs which takes stances on either sides of the matter, but in the end, you have two human beans who need notes to remember what they want to say. Oh my, the humanness of it all. (Such deep discovery.)

But, what I find fascinating about myself regarding both these issues is that:
I really don't care.

2. I have been told I am a Swing Voter. I was actually hoping that had something to do with dancing. But apparently, it does not. Upon further study of this discovery, I find the term - Swing Voter - fits me finely. I am independent, and I do like to dance, and even though I try always to be kind, I really don't like to be told what to do.

To some people being a swing voter means that I am throwing my vote away. (Bless their hearts.)

To some other people it means that because there is such a thing as a swing voter, politicians play harder directing attention towards my area of concerns, meaning they try to stay to the center of whatever side they are really leaning towards, which means I am responsible for their presenting a false front of sorts, or as some term that is loosely used in areas such as these --- *lying*. (Now, I have a headache.)

I have been lectured by people, who are party dominated, boldly noting the regards of the importance of stating a case for concrete distinctions in decision making and the all importance of choosing a party plan to support. (Bullocks of a headache, now.)

I feel this type of thinking leaves nothing for a margin of error, of which there always is and this fact of life which is often ignored, does need to be considered.

So, I just go in the voting booth and boldly vote how I want. Every time. When something is so concrete, and so set in stone ...Yikes! That is just to scary! We are talking about ideas here, not statues in a park!

Politicians should not know everything about how things are going regarding who is going to vote for them; they should stay a little edgy and keep sharp, and concentrate on telling us the truth about who they are and what ideas are really in their hearts.

Swing voters make them a little nervous, as one never knows what a swing voter is going to do, -- and no politician should ever have it so easy that he/she thinks that votes will be there for them like lovely presents, all nicely wrapped under the tree on Christmas morning.

They need keep sharp and on their toes; learn to deal with the unexpected, the maybes, and the could bes and learn to think about that existing margin of error, because, it. is. out there.


3. President Obama is setting a trap for the GOP. Oh man, oh man ... this one is still rolling around in my head, but I have got to admit...there is a lot of laughter going on in that space.

The Nestle Crunch Hot Line

I just received this information from my cousin:

Call the Nestle Crunch Hotline at 1-800-295-0051. When you are asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, just wait quietly for about 10 seconds and you will smile. Promise! Keep going and press 4. Listen to the options...then press 7.


I did press 7 as she suggested, but I suppose you could have chosen another option.

Nestle's may have truly tranformed the whole if you want to (whatever) press a number.

Bad Moon Photos

...don't say I didn't warn you. (My kingdom for a really great camera...)

I thought the moon was round. Here the moon looks like it got deflated on the side. I kind of think it looks like a heart shaped M & M.



This one looks like a heart shaped moon.



This is like a proton or a placebo or the moon squinting at me. The moon, quite possibly, could have a sense of humor. You don't know.



This one is like a jelly bean. Actually, a lot of my moon photos look like jelly beans that shine in the dark



This last one is the one that probably looks the most like the moon. But still and all, it's probably a good thing that I don't work for NASA.



These was taken January 29,2010. That night the moon was the fullest it will be for the year. If you click on this link, you'll find more interesting information including the fact that it's all an illusion.

But illusion or not, I have been fascinated with the moon since those early days of childhood when being outside at night was just about the coolest thing ever.

I find there is something stabling about the night time, and knowing we all look up in wonder of the same moon is fascinating to me. I imagine my friends going out and looking up at the moon. I've always been able to see the Man in the Moon. It's never been a problem for me.

The moon is not going to fall out of the sky. It will sit there for you to look at it for as long as you wish, you can call it any kind of cheese, and it won't get mad at you, and when it goes away, it always comes back.

I've never been disappointed by the moon. It keeps a perfect calendar and is always right on time.

This link will give you some information about your Moon Type. You can click on it if you are not disturbed about knowing these kinds of things.

Some Much Ados about Nothing

1. How your hair looks. (Really, it's not that big of a deal. No one actually cares. Not. Really.)

2. The Tim Tebow Superbowl ad. (Geesh, all that uproar, and then Tebow tackles his Mom on national televsion? Boy, if one of my kids tackled me like that ...whoa, ;) )

3. President Obama blames President Bush, one more time. (Someone has to tell him!)

4. Brad and Angelina. (Remember Swine Flu? Killer Bees? Y2K? Well, someday you will think that way about Brad and Angelina, and you won't even have to get a shot, wear a pith helmet or roll change. It'll just happen. Trust me.)

5. Michael Moore getting a million dollar tax credit for making a movie in Michigan. (If they didn't like it, they should have watched his movie and did away with the tax credit~ 'cause that's what he said...)

6. Coffee is bad. (Coffee is necessary. I wish people would just stop ragging on coffee. I mean, seriously, if you want to do yoga and drink tea, so be it. Just stop ragging on coffee! It's been around longer than most people!!)

7. Tap water will make you something akin to unhealthy and wrinkly. (Doubtful, so, so doubtful. If you are thirsty, and no one has bottled water near by, go ahead and drink from the tap. Honestly, you will probably live. Just don't drink it from a water fountain. Yuk.)