Michael Jackson ~ only 50

I know and, I guess, rightly so, that many are tired with all the Michael Jackson coverage. I am also aware that peoples emotions and thoughts about him and his character are mixed.

But the man was pretty much a household name, a recognized icon, a mixed bag of talent and weirdness that no one could really put their thumb on to explain.

My personal favorite Michael Jackson song is the Free Willy song --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_x3PQ5QhMJs&feature=related

I think his song made the movie.

When I first heard the song, I didn't even realize that it was Michael who did it; I just thought, oh my that is such a beautiful song. My oldest son was 17 at the time told me it was Michael, and he had been the one to introduce us to MJ. #1 son was nine and wanted this red jacket that was the style that Michael wore in the Beat It video.

I had to tell him I couldn't buy it for him because it was $30.00, and that was not in the clothes budget, but I did tell him if he wanted to save up for it, he could buy it himself.

And THAT was the beginning for him for saving and getting what you want. He put that jacket on lay-away and worked for the $30.00. I have photos of him moon-walking in his red jacket with all the zippers and these black and white checked shoes...it's priceless.

Apparently, not that I realized at the time, that was Michael Jackson's great big year. Thriller was beyond me. I watched it because my son wanted to see it (one of my nieces was 14 so she kept us clued, she also introduced me to Bruce Springsteen) ...

I thought it was really different, the Thriller video, and didn't quite know what to make of it. But, I knew my son loved to dance.

Then we watched Michael at some Music Awards show, that was really the first time it hit me, good grief this kid is so talented ... I mean, I had watched Andy Williams, I knew who Michael Jackson was, but once I had my son, I was all into surviving in my life (it was crazy back then) and being a good mother...

So, long story short, we knew Michael back when ... and we were always sorry for all the bad press and hoped that the juries were right, etc, etc ...

But the Free Willy song ... Will You Be There. I had always thought that was Michael in that song talking to someone, hoping that someone would be there for him. When I listen to the words now, I hear a trapped and troubled young man; I still think of MJ as a boy, a child...it's crazy, I know ... but I wish someone had freed Michael.

but,
he's gone,
it's sad ...

Bless his heart for his troubles.

May he rest in peace.

Tonsils no more

Both these photos were taken in May at my mom's 80th birthday celebration. Sean is just the greatest person. He really has a very kind and loving heart. He's a great brother, a terrific son, a trustworthy boyfriend, and he is being and does enjoy being an Uncle!

#2 son had his tonsillectomy today, and the doctor went ahead and removed his adenoids as later it would not be covered by insurance ~ because of the pre-existing condition clause I did not know was in there....

The surgery went well enough except that we found out Sean is a 'bleeder' ... This is something I was unaware of. The doctor didn't say, 'he hit a bleeder' and 'made a bleeder' or 'had a bleeder' ... he said, 'we didn't know he was a bleeder...' ...

So, there I am stunned, and now I have to find out more about that and what that means.

Because of that situation and how they had to treat the wound, he feels worse than was expected, even though, pretty badly was expected ...

We have all we need, and I am thankful to his sweet girlfriend who sent a huge package today with all these things he could eat, and that helped me not having to go to the store, and I was happy about that, because we arrived home just as a thunderstorm was hitting.

The lightening and black clouds were in front of us, and the sky was about to break, but didn't pour open until we were safely in the door. I'll take that as a sign from God that all will go well for Sean and his healing. He is now walking around, so I feel better about that.

When I first saw him in the post-op, the tears started to form and fall. He was the little guy to me who had had surgery when he was 14 months old and again at 16 months old. My heart, my heart just goes right back to that place that is 'mommy always'; I feel like I could cry right now.

When he had those surgeries, he rode home from the hospital both times on my lap, and he didn't leave my lap for close to 24 hours. He was facing me hugging me and he was staying that way.

My legs were begging me to stretch them. I remember being able to hand him over to his dad only when he was deeply asleep, but we had to make sure he didn't lose body contact in the exchange. Those were both long days, but I would do it again in a heart beat, should it be required of me.

The love I feel for my children is just the most moving flow of feeling ~ I don't have words to express it at this time, but it is something that doesn't stay still at one place inside you. It can swell up and spill over the top of you.

I enjoy that feeling way, way, way too much to ever want to let that go; I feel blessed that I got my chance to have children so that I could experience that love like no other; that love in which your heart lives outside of your body...

Health Care ~ Yes, we can see a problem

Health care can be a subject that makes many people cringe. People who have health care coverage cringe. Take me for example ~

I have coverage with Blue Cross Blue Shield for over 20 years, maybe 25 or 30 years? Honestly, I have been writing checks to them for so long, it seems like I'm married to them or supporting them through college ....

I'm thinking, when we first started out, it was for a family of 5 about $250 per month? So, about $3,000 a year? Then up to $4,000 a year, then we had to drop one child as he was too old for me to cover and still the cost was about $4,000 a year, and jumping to current, only three of us are covered and it's about $6,000 a year? So, thinking 25 years .... I know for a fact, they have made a little money on us. I know it.

And tomorrow, my middle son is having his tonsils out. And, my son was notified by the surgeon's office (I think he had to sign a paper), that after he has his tonsils out, NOTHING that happens to his health REMOTELY regarding his tonsils or sinus area (and I'm not sure what other part of his body), or THIS surgery will be covered.

Now, why is that? I've have dutifully paid my bill every single month. I have not missed a payment. I also have an excellent credit report for paying my bills. My child is in, otherwise,
very good health....he has not abused his tonsils.

I think this is radical and unfair and should be against the law.

Not to mention, the surgery is tomorrow and ~TODAY~ I am told by the medical center, that I MUST pay $727.00 before they will operate on my son. TODAY, they call and tell me this.

I told the lady on the phone that this has never happened before when we have used any medical facility for anything. With BCBS, the claim is filed, and then I am billed for the rest.

But, after a long conversation, and actually she did try to get someone to okay it for me to make payments, she called me back three times, because she said ~ get this ~ I was 'nice' (as she told me it was unusual in her job to speak with someone who doesn't yell at her, and okay, yeah, I can understand that ...)

But, wait now, here's the rest ~~~ the reason I must pay this up front, she said, is because 'people do not pay their bills' ....

Excuse me? What people? Who are you looking at? Is someone standing behind me? You mean 'This' people? No, I am not those or them people. I am me, and I have kept my reputation solid in paying my bills ...like a rock. My reputation is like a Bob Seegar song, I kid you not!

But guess what?

Means nothing now.

I have to stop now. I can't think about this clearly right now, but I see the larger dimension of the picture as to WHY we need some kind of public health care ~ that's right, I said it, PUBLIC HEALTH care.

I have to find a way to come up with $727.00 by tomorrow morning. There are lots of songs written about these kinds of situations. Some of them involve convenience stores and banks, and a get away car....

On Father's Day

I salute my husband for being such a good dad. He tries, everyday, to improve upon his skills in fathering. He knows that he has not learned all there is to know about being a parent. He listens to me when I counsel (be nosey) and give him advice (tell him what to do).

We love him very, very much.

Here is a poem I found in the newspaper today. It is in Dear Abby's column. It made me think of him.


I Had a Father Who Talked With Me
~~Hilda Bigelow

I had a father who talked with me.

Allowed me the right to disagree, To question - and always answered me, As well as he could - and truthfully.

He talked of adventures; horrors of war;

Of life, its meaning; what love was for;

How each would always need to strive

To improve the world to keep it alive.

Stressed the duty we owe one another

To be aware each man is a brother.

Words for laughter he also spoke, A silly song or happy joke.

Time runs along, some say I'm wise, That I look at life with seeing eyes.

My heart is happy, my mind is free, I had a father who talked with me.

Reading aloud to your children

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
~ Joseph Addison ~

I am not sure why some parents, grandparents, or assorted relatives do not read to the young people in their family.

Here's my message in brief~

1. READ TO KIDS. ALL KIDS. ALL RELATIONS.

Read them books and stories, read them magazine articles, read them newspapers, the funnies, comic books; read to them what you like, what they like, get picture books that have some words; read with voices as they love that ...

Just Read to Them.

I have observed that many parents in the public school system do not think that reading aloud to their children is a requirement any more. Some of these parents think just handing their child a book and saying, 'read this', it is enough.

IMO, and my credentials as a wife, mom, aunt, sister, grandmother, friend, homeschool parent/teacher, school volunteer, daughter, hairdresser, neighbor, etc ... is that ~

It is never enough.

Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.(1994)
~ Emilie Buchwald ~

2. Not only ~Read~ to your kids, go volunteer to read to children at a local library or school (if you have kids, and have the time, take them with you). When my working hours cut down this school year, that is what I am going to do,

and I read to my granddaughter who is 6 months old. She loves books. Already she knows that the pages turn (knew that last month actually).

Never underestimate a child. I would encourage you to seek out good literature along with reading a book called Icky Bugs ~~


The failure to read good books both enfeebles the vision
and strengthens our most fatal tendency--
the belief that the here and now is all there is.
~ Allan Bloom ~

More later on this topic

Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.
~ Mortimer J. Adler ~

Mutli Dog Tasking - Not for the Week

Mr. B and I are taking care of two dogs. From two different families. So, they live in two different houses, and now they are visiting here.

It is no secret in the free world that I am not a dog person, should one feel the need to identify the fact that one has never owned a dog, and the only time one had a dog left to them, that one did try to care for, one ended up taking the dog to a pet psychiatrist, admitting one's feelings and having the pet shrink decide one should give the dog to one's parents. She did ~ dog lived long and happy life ...

So, I don't dislike dogs. I would wish that all dogs be cared for and loved properly by their owners. I just don't know what to do about dogs. I can't take care of dogs. I would have to own a dog that would take care of me.

Mr. B is doing most of the caring, but I can go with him on walks, especially on the beach.

Right now, the two dogs, one Boarder Collie and one Yorkie Pooh are laying quietly on the floor of my living room. In the room, which I am not happy about dog smell, but I'll survive. It's been 3 days with one dog (feels like 30), and 2 days with the other dog (feels like 20)...

More later,
I'm going out to water my plants.

Posting about finding vomit at 4 AM and poop at 8 AM just isn't what I want to do right now.

Black Swallowtail Butterfly

Right now, I need parsley, and I can't find it at my grocery store or the nearest plant nursery. I can't find it in the plant nursery because the caterpillars of the Swallowtail have eaten it all!!

And, they are eating my only parsley plant~ and since I have about 10 on there, pigging out, I need some fast!! I hope they don't disappear by tomorrow! Where will they go with no more parsely or dill or fennel!?

I am a poor hostess and feeling guilty about it.

From my inbox

From Thought for Today

Dear roxie

Whilst Being Ordinary



To be simple means to be completely pure: to have royalty and greatness whilst being ordinary.

What a scorching week

I am now a firm believer that the weather can effect The Human Bean and his emotions. It has been scorching hot this week, and the amount of emotional turmoil going on here is and has been reaching it's boiling point. Amazing. Crazy and amazing, but storms here have been brewing, and then blown painfully through the realms of ones' senses.

I think I have weathered my storm because I choose to. (I have no idea right now if that is the right "to" at the end of that sentence, but 'oh well'...)

When one is confronted with the dissatisfaction of others in things, regardless of the fact that it might be you with which they are dissatisfied , the collective you, or other things around them, you can choose to not take that ship into their harbour. If you should decide to set your feet firmly on that ship, you may find yourself shipwrecked on an island on which you don't belong, and in a world that doesn't belong to you; one that you don't recognize.

Stand as far back as you can from the storm, take the torrents of the blows, answer as best and as honestly as you can, and then, let the storm pass. And, it will pass. All things will pass. As George Harrison wrote, "all things must pass away..."

This choice can be very hard to make, especially if the dissatisfaction the person/s are stating is with you ~ the you they know or think you to be, because if they knew you, the you whom you are really ~ it is doubtful they would be upset because they would be looking past the surface that passes as you and see that you really mean no harm.

All animals react when they feel smothered, pinned down or caged. It's just nature.

Take on this day, as a word of advice for yourself, to make sure you have some treasures in your heart. You will need them when you are hurt and feel sad. I love the treasures in my heart ~

so much love for my family and friends and for the God I know and love, so many good memories that out weigh any bad memories. I am happy. Truly, madly, deeply to the depths of my soul, I am happy.

My hope would be that everyone else is, also. (I avoided using a "too" ~ how clever of me. haha)

Little Shania melts my heart

Today my five year old nephew and I went over to one of the Head Start schools in our area. As I was coming up the walk way, I saw the most adorable child, about 18 months old, in the most beautiful little dress! She was just precious!

I couldn't help but stop to talk to her and her mother. I told the little girl just how beautiful she looked today, that she must have just come from a party ~ which her mother confirmed with smiles ~ she knew her baby looked beautiful!

Then, I realized the mom was carrying some things and her little daughter was hugging her legs, and was not getting in her little stroller, so I asked the mom would she like me to help her. She said, "oh yes, my car is just over this way," and headed out ahead of me. I picked up the gorgeous child in her beautiful dress and followed her.

As we walked across the parking lot, I began to talk to the little girl about what was going on, and how we were following her mom to the car, and when we got to the car, Shania's grandfather (who didn't speak English) was there holding the special treats they had all been given at the party.

The mom got their things situated in the car. I held her daughter while still explaining to her, all the while, what was happening because I didn't want this adorable little child to be afraid of this stranger who was holding her.

So, mom was ready and then held out her arms to Shania and Shania would not go! We all began to smile. Then, the mom made a little joke ~ "Shania, you don't want to leave the lady? What is going on?" but with her Jamaican accent it was even cuter ~ but Shania would still not go to her mom, and as a matter of fact, she threw her arms around me in a hug!

I told her mom that Shania had just melted my heart, and I was surely more flattered than I have ever been in my life. We all laughed. The Mom, The Grandfather and Me. But Shania held her hug. Her mother was sweet to her and coxed her gently back where she belonged, but I'll tell you true, things like that, just melt my heart, just like the softest kiss on the check.

So gentle and sweet and innocent are young children. I am glad to know all the ones I have ever met.

As we were walking back to the school, my nephew said, "Aunt Sasha, there's another baby that loves you." And I was happy.

One thing on growing up...

Growing up means, stop pointing to the 'other guy' and saying, "I'm better than he is..."

Nope. Forget about the other guy making our rules, and just be better.

White Chili with Green Salsa

Just wanted to warn you guys, as some find recipes boring and not worth the click. I, like I said in another entry, LOVE green salsa and anything I can find that I can make with it -- is like --
WOO HOOO!!

I found this in a magazine, and even though I messed it up by not reading small print, we loved it!! 5 people give it a 5 star, or 20, or maybe it's just because it's free food to them - I don't know, but it was good!


WHITE CHILI with GREEN SALSA
(Chicken Chili Verde)

1 pound of chicken
1 cup chopped onion
2 tsp minced garlic (I used 2 TBS as I read it wrong, but turned out great!)
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp oregano
1 cup bottled green salsa (Yeah, baby!!)
2 cans Great Northern Beans rinsed (Forgot to rinse them, turned out great!)
1 can (14.5) Chicken Broth (I never use chicken broth, only vegetable, and I used
16 ounces and it turned out great!)

Saute your onion and garlic in the oil. Add chicken to cook (I used part left over chicken), but heat 5 mins while breaking up your chicken.

Add all the other seasonings and stuff EXCEPT the beans, bring to a simmer. Cover, cook 5 minutes until you feel things are tender enough for you ...

Stir in the beans (Like I said, I put in the whole can by mistake, as another recipe I have calls for the whole can.)

Heat through and Voile~! Excellent food choice!!

Serve with garlic bread, maybe, and for Mr. B, I made some rice pilaf, because he is afraid of White Beans. (I don't know, read to much Alice and Wonderland? He has a fear of any foods that are White that is not a meat).

But, seriously, this is good!

Isn't Green Salsa a staple?

We. Love. Green Salsa. Salsa Verde! I put it in nearly every recipe I make. Today, I made a white chili with chicken and green salsa. Oh man, it is so good.
When I went to the grocery store this morning, there was no green salsa on the shelves! I called the manager over.

"Look, you are out of green salsa! Don't you know that's the hottest thing going right now? You have got to find a way to keep that in the store!"

He said I was right, that he had noticed it was selling well. He said more would come in tomorrow. I told him he had better double order next time. I also showed him another brand that has a green salsa in it's line, which he was not aware of, and told him to give the order clerk a head's up on that!

If you haven't discovered green salsa, you have something, now, to look for to!

My daughter is sometimes silly

I asked her didn't she think she needed to raise the camera up a little bit? Apparently ~ not.

The Zen Garden Wall

This is my lovely Zen Wall that got created by allowing nature to take it's course while wanting a privacy wall. This is the view from outside the porch.




This is the view from inside the porch. I haven't really put any effort into the outside view. I might start working on that.