The Busy Day

I just know that when I wake up every morning now, things are different. I am still not acclimated to the situation of the daily play called My Life.

Taking care of my 3 year old nephew from 10 AM to 3 PM, is a good part of *the active part of my mind* day. Madam B says, “That _is_ *the day*.” We are having to work on our school schedule. I’m doing a lot of writing of questions instead of talking with her, but I find if I wait until the end of the day, I am too tired to really get into the depth of real thinking, so I put my questions down in the morning, and she writes out the answers for me. This is disturbing me some, but I’m sure we’ll get things worked out. We need to be fair and give ourselves time. We are each in new surroundings. We’ll get it right.

We are trying to meet earlier in the morning. We were so spoiled by our prior years; it’s almost ridiculous to even go there! Such a private, quiet life we led on most days, compared to now.

At least with my nephew, he doesn’t care how I look or even smell…hahahaha…or what I am wearing. He cares that I care for him. My day with him can be challenging depending on what we might choose to do.

One of the best things is playing in the sandbox in his special play area on the side of the house. My brother lives on the water and has a pool, so Jacob has to be watched 24-7 and the locks on the doors have to be checked and double-checked. Jacob is the kind of child who challenges the ….ummm, how about Everything!

But like I said, the sandbox area is great. There’s an area to run and a slide and I give him the hose. What child doesn’t love to play with water in some way? And yes, the sandbox turns into the beach, so to speak, but his parents don’t mind because it’s easier than worrying about it, and he says he needs the hose. So there you are.

Yesterday, we did some cast fishing off the dock. Well. We were out on the dock feeding the fish, and I said, “We really need a fishing pole.” He mumbled something, and then he turned and began running towards the house, saying something about he knew where the fishing poles were, and danged if he didn’t lead me right to the poles – the real big poles – hung up on the wall in the garage.

“Nope,” I said, “that won’t do for us. We need a smaller pole. We need a stick to make ourselves a fishing pole.” Actually, what we needed was a cane pole. Remember them?

Jake got busy looking for a stick in the garage. Mumbling to himself, “a stick, a stick, a stick….” He found a huge piece of wood. “This stick?” he asked. Now, Jake doesn’t speak all the clearly. He says a whole lotta words, but it’s not so easy getting them into understanding. But I’m trying, and I knew he was asking ‘was this a stick that would work?’ And I told him “No, too big.”

Long story short, I found a piece of quarter molding about long enough, and then cut some fishing line off one of the hanging poles. I wrapped/tied the line to our pole and looked around for a bobber. So did Jacob. He didn’t know what a bobber was, but he sure tried to find one. At first I had said, “We need a weight,” and he ran right over to the weight bench and hurled a 3# weight in my direction. That’s when I clarified a bit and said, “something to bob up and down on the end of our line, a bobber, something light.”

That’s when I found an old traveling toothbrush. A fine bobber there; an inventive bobber. Not so attractive, but it did float.

I am no fishermen, fisherwoman, fisherperson, or whatever; I just thought it would be fun to do some casting out on the dock.

Okay. So got the pole, and the string, and the bobber, and now we need a hook. Are you with me? Where would you look for a hook that a 3 year old can use? In the kitchen! I got a bag tie and made a hook on which I squished our bread. And it stayed on long enough to cast that baby over his shoulder and into the water. I had some room to jump out of the way each time, so that was good.

“The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of that which is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.”

A bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work. ~Author Unknown

The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad. ~A.K. Best

Sweet Emotions

Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it. ~Vincent Van Gogh, 1889

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. ~Dale Carnegie

I've discovered a new level of fatigue. The fatigue of many people around you. I'm not a person who has been around a lot of people during a day in the past, and now I am.

Everyday. New Emotions.

I'm not saying it's bad. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying, it's different, and it affects me.

The ages of the people range from 90 to 3 years old. There's a few generations in all of that. And I am a relational type of personality which is good, but I am, also, a private person, which is -- well, not easy to be right now.

I do get on with people just fine; I make jokes usually about things, but I am super sensitive, also. I make jokes to keep people at ease, but I am very attuned to pick up any oddities in emotions. And this is becoming a pull on the center of my own emotional gravity. That probably doesn't make sense to some people, but it makes a whole lot of sense to me.

I'm like a person that really needs to get up and go to the beach by themselves, you know, to regroup what is clashing around inside. And, I have to make myself do this, because I am also the type that will do that one more load of laundry just to get ahead of tomorrow. I'm am not my own best friend. I am not the type that takes care of me first.

I have to learn now how to be here. I can do this.

To give vent now and then to his feelings, whether of pleasure or discontent, is a great ease to a man's heart. ~Francesco Guicciardini

Tuesday, then Wednesday ....quickly it seemed

So it's Wednesday. Again. And somewhere else, it's Thursday.

I suppose to blog, one must blog about what one knows, or pass along information one has found out and think now they know something more than they knew before. I, for one, am still often astounded at what I think everyone should know and then find that someone obviously does not know and causes a huge ruckus with their lack of knowingness. Like left turns or simple right turns, or how to function at a four way stop, and not every place is a right turn on red, and your cell phone use while driving can interfere with your thinking.

When I am on my cell phone in the car, which is more these days then I prefer, if I'm in traffic, I just say, 'left turn' and put the phone down. Some people who call me don't even realize I have put the phone down.

Today the car in front of me was making a right turn into a parking lot area. Then. Out of the clear blue sky, the car in front of him decided he was making a right turn, also, into the same parking lot area without any warning or thought of anyone behind him. There was much honking and screeching of brakes. They were both turning into the exact same piece of road. Both were in little gray cars. Maybe they thought they were the same car. It was strange to watch. I was, apparently, the only one of the three of us paying attention.

Then it was funny to watch them try to figure out who should go, now that they were practically on top of each other. It was like a video game. Like someone was pressing a control button as one would edge forward and brake, and then the other would edge and brake. I think they were afraid to look at each other.

Down the street from me, on an electric wire, are a couple of pairs of sports shoes. They are tied together on a string - I think Madam B photographed them - they are not old shoes. Funny, that someone came home without their shoes, and I wonder what they told their parents. I've seen two other people taking pictures of the shoes.

Monday night my sister in law and I took both her parents to the emergency room. What a long day that was. My mother in law passed out at 8 AM. I told her to go to the walk in clinic.

"No, I'm fine now," she says. (She's 80 - did she forget?). I had a really long day with my nephew that day, as my mother had had surgery on her feet and I needed to keep Jacob from 9 AM until 6 PM.

I talked to my mother in law and sister in law a few times during the day and couldn't convince anyone to go to the doctors. I was sure she was dehydrated.

So I get home a little after six, and go over to their house (which is right next door to mine) and I hear my father in law coughing. And that was not a cough to fool with,

"You really should get that checked out," I said.

"I'm fine," he said ~ (He's 90 - did he forget?)

so finally, at around 7 PM ~ it took my husband, my sister in law and myself to convince them - you really need to go to the doctors. (Where is Mr. Rogers when you need him? "Can you say 'stubborn'?)

Long story short, we got home around 9:30 PM. My mother in law is dehydrated, but the passing out thing is something she has been doing for awhile. She probably has the same thing my husband (her son) has - neurocardiogenic syncope .

But. I've never been 80, and I've never been 90. I have not a clue what it's like to try to read your body signs that far down the road. My own aging body is tricking me now and again, and I'm not sure what is going on. A weird thing this aging stuff, but I think I can tell you - it's safe to watch your diet carefully, and drink water! (Yes, she was dehydrated, and my father in law has acute bronchitis, which I found out is something that just comes on quickly and is contagious), get exercise, and don't stress. It's just not worth it.

My mother in law will probably end up going to a cardiologist for further checking out Maybe she has a slow heart rate.

My father in law is supposed to get plenty of rest, but he just doesn't get that. He is sure that he should be walking every day. And I don't blame him one bit. He's wrestling with wanting to fall asleep and go for a walk. Mr. B says, 'you know, it's his life, and he should just make his own parade.' I tend to agree, but find myself reminding them of the doctors advice.

I did go to the library and check out about 6 movies for them, and got some books and some magazines for them to read.

I, myself, am tired. Just plain old fashioned tired. I should follow my father in law's parade and just go walking anyway.

Note to self

por1. Make a list of all you have to do.

2. Do not loose the list.

3. Do not loose the pencil.

4. Do not forget what you are supposed to write down.

5. Find Paper.

6. Find Pencil.

7. Or pen.

8. Gather thoughts.

9. On second thought re: #8 --
Better to let mind run random and remember things at will. Better to have more on the list than less.

10. Good Luck.

11. Do not loose the list.

Sweet little thoughts

Over the years I have been faithful to making my kids write letters and thank you notes.

Tonight my mother in law brought over a pile of them, and what a treasured time it was looking through them! There is no way anyone would remember these things without having them right in front of them. Just looking at the spelling and the formation of the letters and the grouping of words becoming sentences was one thing from the 'teacher' point of view in me, but the sweet sentiments of my kids! I just got welled up with tears reading them.

Sean wrote this letter to his grandma when he was 10 --

Dear Grandma,

When I think of you, I think of your fun spirit, working outside, eating raisins bread (my favorite) and best of all, you just being here. We also love Grandpa being here.

See, when you're here, I can sometimes skip school!! ha! ha!

Hope to see you soon.

Love,

Sean

I lauged so hard at this. It's in cursive, and you can read it. I'm not sure you can read his handwriting now that he's 20! There are words crossed out and replaced - like 'jest' crossed out for 'just', and 'hear' crossed out for 'here', and 'bear' for 'being' and 'raisins' has a big fat S on the end. But it's precious as all.

And my mother in law did the sweetest thing! On each of the cards and letters, she has written a comment! Like on that letter she wrote, "Sean, you are such a great writer. I love getting your letters." I guess she intended on giving them back one day.

So that's an idea for us. When we get those special little notes and cards from the special kids in our families, we can write a little message for them to have when they look at them when they are all grown up.

It funny about those things, that sometimes at the time, there might be a little fussing about the doing of it, ‘Oh, I already said thank you do I really have to write a card?’ …I held my ground, “Yes, you have to write a card. People need to know that you care and appreciate them.”

I am so glad I followed through. I have such trouble following through on so many things. Ask my closest, closest friends, and they will tell you – but with my children, I know deep in my soul that these are the things of importance. They involve love ever after.

Look up in the sky.....

Friday night Mr. B and I went to the beach. We took a couple of chairs and made ourselves comfortable. Just felt like looking and listening to the ocean for a while. It's got to be a good thing.

The moon rising was unreal. It was a red moon! It was about 8'ish in the evening, I think. Mr. B says it was earlier, but close. We thought we saw a ship out on the water, and it looked like it was coming closer and closer, first slowly and then moving very quickly. We thought, 'gee that's a weird light for a ship to have' ... then Mr. B realized that it was the moon rising. I thought we were being attacked by a UFO.

It really was an amazing thing. There is such power in the earth. People yell and argue and scream at each other and their kids and start wars and steal cars and swindle old people ... but they can't stop the moon from rising red over the ocean. Sometimes I wish the moon would crash down on the heads of bad people. And then just get up and rise back up in the sky.

Saturday we watched the launching of the Space Shuttle Atlantis from our front yard. Very unique feeling to go out into the front yard and see people being shot into space. I hope it does us, as a people, as the earth, some good. I really don't know about these types of things. It does give the mind something to do, I suppose, you know, going out into space. That's a lot of planning. I go crazy thinking about 16 people coming to my house for the weekend; I can't imagine planning to launch them into space! Ummm. Maybe I should.

Video Tapes

The list of things to do to keep my life from exploding right under me is growing beyond my minutes in the day.

For some reason, I was just thinking about my home movie video tapes. I did a little search on line to make sure I was storing them properly (not that I can find them at this moment, they are in a box somewhere), and I realize there is a great chance that I am not.

First, the tapes must be stored like book ends - straight up.
Second, tapes must be exercised. You should run your tapes, on fast forward if you don't watch them, periodically. We did this when the kids were younger, but it's been awhile since I've watched the home movie video tapes.

And lastly, copies of your orginals. Which I do not have.

If this were a test, I have failed.

A Challenge to all School Age Children

Dear Any Parents of Any Child of School Age --

(This challenge is being 'tongue in cheek' put out there because of the information in this post.)

I would like to initiate a challenge to you. The challenge is in two parts:

1. Give your child a Four Digit Number to memorize. This number must be known everyday for 100 and 80 days. If your child CAN successfully remember that number, your child is making a step toward independence of the common thinking.

2. Teach your child how to handle change. This might involve learning to get change out of ones pocket or bag and give this in payment for a service of say, about $2.85 will do. And I extend this challenge to add that the child also be able to know if he/she is given the correct change. You can consider that a bonus part of the challenge. And you can consider your child on his/her way to another form of independence, if this part of the challenge is mastered.

If you and your child/children should take and participate in this challenge, I would very much like to know if your child/children have been successful.

I thank you. And one day, America will thank you.

Sincerely,

Miss Roxie

And are you kidding me?

How did I survive the lunch line as a child?

This link is for a news story telling of the latest move regarding technology being misused for the continued dumbing down of our children.

In one of the states in our union, they have been given permission to switch to a scanning system of using a finger to pay for lunch at school. BECAUSE -- and I quote from the television interview I heard with my own ears, "It's easier than having the child fumble for change, or to have to remember a four digit number."

*Fumble* for change? Oh heavens. Can you imagine living in a world where children actually *fumble* for change in a lunch line? (Oh dear, they might learn about money and become responsible!)

And having to *remember* a *FOUR DIGIT* number? Oh heavens again! How could we inject such cruelty to the mind of a child. And in a SCHOOL no less? Oh how outrageous. Thinking! Who’d ever thunk it? Actually, remembering a four digit number? How can you require that from a child? (Oh dear, they might actually learn to think for themselves!)

I think the people, who came up with this idea, didn't look around and notice -- They were in a SCHOOL.

I can't, for the life of me, figure out what is wrong with a child learning about money and change. What is wrong with memorizing a FOUR DIGIT number? What about addresses and phone numbers? Is it out of fashion and requirement for children to bother memorizing such things? (Did all sense and logic die with Mr. Rogers?)


And while I'm asking questions, why are people - in schools no less - allowed to make children into blooming idiots? Are there really so many people in the world, so busy, that no one can take the time to assist a child in learning about how to buy his lunch?

Maybe I'm not seeing something wonderful and logical in this action of finger scanning. I just see stupid people doing stupid things, taking away more responsibility and desire of thinking and making more people more stupid and neglectful of personal responsibility.

One day 4 years ago

Two separate sides of the door.

My side:

I am in the laundry room while my daughter is in the
family room folding clothes.  The rooms are adjacent
separated by a door that is not closed all the way. I
am singing with enthusiasm while I rearrange some
things on the shelves. 

I come across a full  box of
laundry detergent that I hadn't realized was there.
It falls with a load thud.  I stop singing to pick it
up and hope it didn't break in the fall. A moment of
silence passes and I hear hysterical laughter from
behind the door.


My daughter's side:

She is in the family room folding clothes.  She hears
her mother singing loudly from behind the door:

"I get knocked down
but I get up again
they're never gonna keep me down,
I get knocked down
but I get up again
they're never gonna keep me down,
I get knocked down..."

*THUD*

silence....

she breaks out into hysterical laughter.  She is
picturing a great video in her head.

Jacob and The Giant Library

Tuesdays and Thursdays are library days for Jacob and I. It’s Story Time with Miss Vanessa. Jake is very friendly to everyone. Very touchy, huggie, sweet little fellow ~ most grown-ups find it charming...but some little girls just don't like it.

There is one little girl in attendance each week that wants nothing whatsoever to do with Jacob's friendliness. If he smiles at her, she complains, 'Mommy he's looking at me!'. If he touches her shoulder – (and he does this to just about any child he goes up and talks to) -- she yells, "Mommy he's touching me!"

In a way, I applaud the little girl for loudly and clearly protecting her space. But it’s difficult to explain to Jacob that some people just don’t appreciate ones friendliness.

The little girl’s mother said last week, "She has issues." Today her mom said to me, "He's fine, she's just like that. I don't know what's wrong with her."

I told the mom, I really didn't think anything was 'wrong with her', that someday that attitude might serve her well.

But it is all very confusing in the early stages of life, isn't it? All the 'having my space stuff'.

I do think that Jacob does not have an awareness of any ones *space*. It's all his space after all, and you just happen to be in it!

But he's like a doctor; he means no harm. He looks people in the eye when they talk to him, if he has met you once before, he’s liable to put his arms around you while you are talking to him, he's just that socially comfortable.

I told the mom of Miss Don't-Look-at-Me that both her daughter and Jacob have something to learn. These two just happen to be the extremes of all the Respect My Space problems in the world (and there’s no *we* in My Space). Perhaps they can learn much from each other. Such cute little grasshoppers they are. Maybe they will grow up and get married.

It is difficult having Jacob over at my house right now because everything is not neatly put away and organized enough for a two year old to just boldly go from room to room. And he’s a boy explorer who needs to learn about *space*…and because it was raining outside today and our park plans were squashed, all playing space was limited, and Madam Blueberry was trying to concentrate on her math, I decided to take Jacob home an hour early and finish out our play there.

On the way home, just in conversation, I asked him if he was happy. He said, “No.”

I asked him why.

He said, “I’m mad at you.”

“At me?” I said, “Why is that?”

He said, “Because you are taking me home.”

Silly as this may sound, this made me smile. Only because I was wondering, did he like me and want to be with me for 5 hours every day. I think his little bit of anger answered my question.

Soon the weather will get nicer, and Madam Blueberry will get better at her math. (She was even looking forward to going to the park with Jacob today.) Soon everything will blend nicely and find a place to be in my house, and so soon things will be so that Jacob won’t have a reason to be mad at me anymore.

The Standard

I spent a good part of the day in Home Depot. I don't enjoy Home Depot. I whine when I am in Home Depot.

We had to buy some shelving. There is a lot of math involved in shelving projects. But now, THERE is a homeschool project that could kill the proverbial birds with the one stone. Have your child put up shelves. Hopefully, they won't make as many holes in the walls as Mr. B did.

However, there is no guarantee in that. You see, contractors say - the studs are placed at 16" --and ha, ha, ha on the measurements of contractors. We had a stud-finder that says contractors rulers are off a tad.

Do you know what a 'standard' is? I didn't. But that strip that holds the supports that holds the shelves is called a 'standard'. How about that? I would have called it a support strip. Or in short perhaps, a strip. - but if you click on this, you can see what a standard is.

Live and Learn.

Tunneling through it

I feel like I have nothing new and/or intelligent to report.

I couldn't sleep last night, and I was to tired to read, so I just tossed and turned. I ended up sleeping in this morning, and was tired all day, then a most unusual thing for me, I went out looking for rugs. I need one that I can tolerate.

I have realized I don't like looking for things. Or maybe what it is, is that, I really need to get some more of this unpacking done before I can feel comfortable going out to look for things.

I need a computer desk. Unless I order it on line, I doubt it will come to me. I have to go out, and look for it. Why do I hate that? I must be lazy.

People ask me, 'have you checked on ebay?' I never check on ebay for anything. It's like in my world, there is no ebay. What does ebay stand for anyway?

I have no idea what is going on in the world. I sat down at my inlaws today for a cup of tea, and they had the television on. There was President Bush talking tough about Iran. And I thought, 'oh you have got to be kidding me, please don't let us go to war with Iran.' I hate the whole war thing.

We all decided to order pizza tonight. I dialed the pizza place and got my mother-in-law.
What?
What is your number?
She gave me her number.
Her number is one digit off the pizza place number!! She just got her phone Friday!
What are the odds of that? Now really!

What is more important - the longevity of life or the quality of life? Do you live like one of those is a real choice to you? Or do you just get up, and there goes a day?

This is only a Text

Today ~ more rain. Still Ernesto? I don't know!

We finally got cable uphook, and I didn't miss it a bit, and kind of wish (no, do wish) we had not bothered with it. My husband even said, "I was getting used to not having a television. There is really nothing on here." If you know him, you would be like, standing with your mouth open to hear this from him. I used to say, "there is really nothing on here" and he would say, "Yes there is, you just have to know how to look!" Too funny.

It's been said it takes about two weeks to change a habit, or make a good habit ~ actually, that is probably still being disputed ~ but I know it takes about that, and it takes _longer_ than that to undue a bad habit for a new habit, or just plain undue a bad habit ... but can you undue a bad habit without replacing it with something? What just happened to my brain right then? I got off point ...

Point was, we've been a month or more without television! So maybe Mr. B has developed a new good habit!

Found out - you can change your driver license address on line (and renew). That was cool; no waiting in line. They send you out a new license (if you have one with a digital photo which mine has), or a sticker, depending on what type of license you have. You need a credit card handy as they charge you $10.00. Someone told me it costs $15.00 when you go in, but I don't know.

Also found out, that to get any money back from overpayment on your homeowners insurance after you sell your home, you have to send them a copy of the HUD statement. Even if the Closing People tell you they will take care of it, according to the Homeowners Insurance people, they don't ever do. But I knew I hadn't signed anything regarding that, so I took care of it myself.

I know I haven't been blogging as much lately as I have been thinking about blogging. But I have interacted with more people lately than usual, and I have to say, it does kind of wear me out. I'm not used to this much socialization. I'm really a recluse.

Raindrops keep falling....somewhere

We got more rain here after Ernesto than during.
You see these huge black clouds forming in the sky,
and you know it's going to just pelt you a good one.

You run out of the grocery store with your few bags, in the torrential downpour,
and get totally drenched, and you fret for a second or two about your favorite shoes getting wet,
throw your groceries in the back seat,
which became saturated before using while you had the door open for that 12 seconds,
slide yourself into the driver's seat, and you are literally sitting in a puddle of water,

you wipe the hair back out of your eyes that is stuck to your head so you can focus better through the what looks like an ocean of water on your windshield that the wipers don’t seem to be able to move,

you try not to lean back in the seat because your clothes are soaked and you are freezing,
you make sure your shoes are not slippery before you take off...

The steering wheel is covered with water, along with your keys and you,

so then slowly,
you drive home ...

less than a quarter of a mile...
only to realize…
it's not rained a drop in your driveway.